R.K.Narayan

I have been trying to write a story for a long time. However lack of information on one of the main characters does not allow me to proceed. I decided to take this time and write about the god of fiction (according to me) – R.K.Narayan.
I have almost read all of his novels except a few, which I will read very soon. I have read some of his books numerous times, never getting bored of it. The characters are etched too deeply, that you start to visualize them in your mind. He does not focus too much on the appearance of the character except using words like she looked frail, slender and so on. He focuses more on the activities of the character which seems to define the personality.
I have been reading – Mr.Sampath for the third time (it is one of my favorite – a slightly philosophical book). He introduces a character – the future landlord of an editor of a magazine Srinivas. The character is introduced bathing in the street tap. Srinivas hears all the landlord’s tenants cursing the landlord as being miserly. Srinivas then proceeds to the landlord’s house along with him and finds his home very simple without any furniture. The landlord does not have any respect for families or children or has any emotional attachment to anything which is conveyed in about 3 pages of the narrative. This kind of description creates a deep impression in our mind. I have seen other Indian authors describe characters page after page and the characters still appear to be on a different planet and we do not find any emotional connect to them. Yet, Narayan effortlessly gives us insights into the beleifs of the character through their actions. Seemingly a very interesting part of Narayan’s writing is he does not talk about the appearance of the character, yet in our minds we have a very good image of how the character looks like.
I would rate two of his books as the best – probably because they have a strong female protagonist and deal with very deep topics of our existence – “The Guide” and “The Painter of Signs”. I have written a lot about “The Guide” (even though I have made few more discoveries about that book), let me write about “The Painter of Signs”.
“The Painter of Signs” is a book about a man called “Raman” who paints sign boards. He believes that marriage is a waste of time and that a human being should attribute time to more worthwhile pursuits. In the meantime he meets “Daisy” a birth control administrator, whose job is to control the population of a few areas. As the story progresses, we realize that Narayan is trying to explore the idea of sex and the impact it has on human beings through this book. Raman is a guy who thinks that thoughts of sex are futile and he should never think of it. Yet, he is constantly drawn to it. Again, Narayan does not merely say he is trying to take sex thoughts out of his mind. He describes a scene where Raman sees a woman washing clothes in the river and that Raman glanced at her thighs and found them enchanting. Raman then warns himself not to think of women as commodities. Narayan’s style somehow reminds me of the way we are asked to interview in present day. Merely saying that we are hardworking and have presence of mind is not suffice, rather we need to provide examples of where we have exhibited such behavior. Narayan’s books become succinct because he does not even devote a single page to descriptions except for Malgudi.
He picks a street from Malgudi for every character. Raman lives in Ellaman street, the TM lives in Kabir Street, Nagaraj lives in Kabir street as well, Sampath near New Extension and so on. The City of Malgudi somehow reveals itself with every novel of his.
In the Painter of Signs, Daisy is a very bold woman who is not ashamed to talk about sex in public. She educates villagers of safe sex practices. Raman is drawn to Daisy, who in Narayan’s mind is a very epitome of sex. She is described as a very fickle woman who changes her mind everyday (Similar to Jessie in Vinnai Thaandi Varuvaaya). We also learn that Daisy is extremely passionate , ambitious , unconventional and believes only in logic when we hear about her story of how she ran away from home. Raman is constantly struggling to make her accept his love for him.
The novel has many humorous moments. When he suspects that Daisy would have complained to the police about him . He uses the word “Daisyism” to describe his feelings for her. The instances where he tries to get her out of his mind by wearing glasses that made her look very disfigured.
It also has a lot of philosophical bits where he reads a message that says “This too shall pass” indicating his attraction to Daisy is temporary, seeming to indicate that sex is a very temporary thing. The novel ends with a line that says “Raman cycled towards Boardless, the place which had more stability and permanence ‘indicating that work or the duty towards the society is a permanent thing in the world

New life

I am writing this in a train from Newark Penn Station to New Brunswick on my way back from work. I will be moving to Jersey City this weekend. My apartment is going to be on the 26th floor with an amazing view of the Hudson River. I am truly living the best days of my life. My new job has been crafted according to what I always desired. I believe completely “Dreams do come true”. I feel happy, energized and alive. Even though I have absolutely no time in my life, I want to write this blog because I can read this later in my life and remind myself that whatever you desire, the universe conspires for you to get it.
I feel truly blessed to be doing this job. I am so passionate about it and would do it even for free. The people in my team are absolutely marvelous. They are helpful, fun and easy to get along with. Sometimes I feel my life is absolutely pre-destined. I feel a lot of things in my life were meant to be. For example some of the people I am meeting here. All the people I meet in my life, I learn something from them and they affect me in some way. It is probably too early to say that I love the people in my job. But I absolutely do.
I remember one day about two months ago I was standing by the river Hudson and felt that I communicated with the river. It was absolutely wonderful. I spoke to the river of my dreams and desires. I told her that I needed to come and live here. I dreamt of living in a high rise building and doing a job in the World Financial Center. Sometimes I wonder, do my dreams come true? Or do I dream about them because they are going to be true? Anyways I feel absolutely great and feel like living some of the best times of my life.
I did not anticipate the extent of benefits I have been getting at Deloitte. It has been great. I know god gives us good after bad and bad after good. This time of my life compensates for all the bad things I had experienced. I feel like I have forgiven everyone who has hurt me in some way. I also request people who I have hurt to forgive me as well. Truly, life is worth living and I love every minute of it!

Independance for Women?

I have been thinking for a long time as to how the society has created the entire system convenient to men. Today is Independence Day for India. I wonder have the Indian women got any freedom at all? When I look at the urban women population of India, those who stand in the way of their freedom are women themselves. When we just start passively accepting what the society has lived by for thousands of years, how do we grow? Isn’t it time to start thinking of a new system?

I have had numerous conversations with a friend of mine who truly believes in the liberation of Indian woman. He sent me the video of a tamil girl called Meena Kandasamy who is pretty famous these days due to her poems and other social activities. One of her poems is about the story of Ahalya which is a part of Ramayana. Ahalya is punished for her promiscuity by her husband who is a sage. Even though I did not understand her poem nor did I agree with a lot of what she had to say, it kinda made me think and I came up with this poem.

We should all start thinking of a new society – a society that is created for women , for women who have it all!

I live in a New World
The Grass is still green
The sky is blue
But the women do what they want to do
The World is a land of Krishnaa- the dark skinned woman
Whose features promise intelligence
Her identity is no longer restricted by her beautiful figure or her intelligent face
She is no longer bound by age
“Age to get married”
“Age to have a baby”
“Age to give up your dreams”
She does not constantly crave for acceptance
“Acceptance by Men”
“Acceptance by Older Women”
She does not feel guilty of pleasure and enjoyment
She is no longer restricted to serve others in the name of age old tradition
Nor does she have to put up a masculine façade to enjoy the many privileges mankind enjoys in the name of MAN
She does not wait for a man to declare her as an equal
She knows she can have it all and strives boldly to pursue her destiny

The Imperfect Life

I once read “The Malgudi days” by R.K.Narayan (Again, yeah!) and it has a story about a sculptor who makes a statue of Lord Natarajan. The story goes on about the beauty of the statue and how perfect it has been made. The sculptor is worried that if he took the statue to the temple, the world would come to an end. The universe does not like anything made to perfection. He thinks if he breaks a toe or a finger from the statue, it will be less perfect and nothing would happen. I believe there is some truth to that. When we think our life is perfect and everything is in place, the universe seeks out to challenge it.
I went to the Titanic Museum in Branson, Missouri and was very much in awe of the mechanical intelligence of the great ship. It was believed that the ship was unsinkable. The universe set out to challenge that as well.
We see all around us that something that is perfect does not last long enough. Is it a self fulfilling prophecy of our belief in imperfection? Or is it really true that we cannot ever create anything that is more perfect than the lives that the universe creates for us. Incidents and events in our life at the right time and right place that when you look back you understand the meaning of every little thing that happened in your life and its significance.
Alaipayuthey is a tamil movie which deeply affected me in my teens. What was so great about this movie? Rather which thing in this movie seemed to fill the hole in my spirit? I think it was the grandeur image of a man who loved a woman. It is a theme which is consistent in all Mani Rathnam movies from Mouna Ragam to Raavan. I like Mani Rathnam because I like to at least see these men on the screen.
I did suffer silently due to the absolute perfectionist image I saw in these films. I thought that such a personality is really possible. I was really naïve. However, there is one part or rather one scene in the movie that I really understand now. It is a scene where a guy who has been married for a long time advises a recently married guy. He points out the differences in the love before and after marriage. He compares the love before marriage to be like a flower – beautiful, yet something that withers away and the love after marriage that is strong like the roots of a tree.
In my previous post about love and hormones, I did receive some comments about how love can exist. I do believe love exists. However the love after marriage is different. I feel an attachment. Love before marriage is like a peak of emotions always on a roller coaster. Love after marriage is somewhat smooth (even though it does have some roller coaster).
I do not have a problem with imperfection. In fact, these days I adore it. I have come to terms with my imperfection. The problematic area in my body (my arms), my impulsive behavior and sometimes acting too arrogant without any reason are all my imperfection. God created me this way for a reason and I am an instrument of the doer.
Yet, I feel I am given the gift to really appreciate life in its most beautiful form. Every time I go off track, I get a lesson out of life and it helps me get rid of all the unnecessary things and I am back on track. Even though each of us crave success and happiness so much in life, I like the lessons failure offer us. It gives us a chance to get in touch with our true self.
Life is imperfect. However sometimes we just know, even though it is imperfect, it is meant to be!

Life and Marriage

I was reading R.K. Narayan’s “Dark Room” and he touches on Male Chauvenism from time to time. It is so liberating to know that an Indian author of such old times thinks and appreciates womanhood so much. Some Indian authors even now try to portray India as excessively male dominated even though it is probably not true (as I’d like to believe).
The story Dark room is about a very sincere and dedicated wife of a very angry and arrogant man. Whenever the wife disagrees with her husband, she locks herself up in a dark room and doesn’t come out for days. It is an outlet for her to let out her anger rather than arguing with him. At one part of the story she stays in her room and doesn’t come out even to eat anything for an entire day. One of her friend who is a very mature lady comes into the room and explains to her how harsh men can sometimes be. She tells her tales of how men had treated women in olden days and how submissive women have been. Our mythologies are loaded with tales of sincere and devoted wives like Sita and Savithri. She also explains the torment they have gone through and yet sustained themselves. Listening to the friends tales, the wife is comforted and feels she has acted very silly and comes out of the room.
It really makes me wonder that women have not evolved from that time. The story even happens today. We are sometimes really angry with our husbands, yet we are comforted by the thought of other husbands who are still worse. We as women believe that we are destined to a life not worthy of happiness or fulfillment. We always think that men deserve so much better. Men also seem to think that way. It is some kind of group or herd behavior we have all been accustomed to. This kind of mentality is not just prevalent among the Indian women. I have seen women complain so much of their husbands and how they do not do any household work at all or help them. Yet, these women love their husbands so much and do not even want to think of leaving them.
What is marriage? I have heard so many say that it is man made. A lot of other things are man made as well. Jobs are man made. God did not create jobs. Money is man made. God did not create money as well. God probably created food, love, sex and procreation. The rest of the complication – education, numerous rules for everyone to get along is all created by man. I sometimes wonder what if a baby just born is brought up in an environment where she is not told about any rules of life. I think some rules we are taught from a very young age like “ Time is precious”, “ work hard”, “ Share among others” and so many other things, how would they behave? The baby is given food whenever she wants and once she grows she is given a man to mate with. Will she be happy with her life? Is this what we are all born for ? Procreation? Because as we see around and learn so many new things created by man, we feel this desire to participate and create something by ourself as well. What if nothing was created in this world? How would we feel then?
Sometimes I think of an Indian marriage like a Government job. You know it is for life and the partner is not going to leave you no matter what. If that is the case what holds the marriage together? Fear or love? A marriage works when you put the needs of your partner well above yours and that is reciprocated by your partner as well. However if you love your partner yet make no effort to make her happy , will your partner still love you? Isnt love a two way street? If love dies for one of the partner, does fear hold the two together? Fear that you will not get anyone better. Fear of harsh words of your relatives.
After wondering about this and looking at a lot of couples, I have come to realize that fear never holds a marriage together. I have noticed that despite the couple not expressing to each other how much they love each other, they do love each other.
The most important thing a woman wants is not to chip in to do household work. She wants instances in which he shows her work is appreciated. A small gift, sometimes a public display of affection and an appreciation for the work she does. Sometimes even listening to her suggestions is a big ego booster for women.
What does a man wants? It is surprising that a man does not really want anything from a woman. Even though I would like to believe that I promote female equality and so on. I cannot but just ignore the superiority of the masculine gender for its completeness. The woman gives everything out of her own wish. A man does not want a woman to cook for him, clean for him or do anything. He just wants her to be there for him, supporting him and loving him. Sometimes he doesn’t even want love to be expressed. It is fascinating to watch a man. A woman constantly craves for love, attention and approval.
I read somewhere in our mythological book that if you have done a lot of virtue in your previous Janma, you will be born as a man. I think there is some truth to that. Even though men have some vices like constant physical attraction to other women even though they don’t love them and so on, they are better species. They are happy and content .
As a famous hindi movie “ Pyaar Ka Punchnama “ says , I completely believe “ A happy woman is a myth”. I would like to add that this phrase applies to modern Indian woman, who constantly have received attention (due to the skewed ratio of men to women in India), never been turned down and always appreciated.
My mother on the other hand is a very happy woman. She is happy doing her duty and not expecting anything in return. This goes back to my Bhagavath Gita lesson “ Do your duty and do not expect the fruits for it”. It has taken me 27 years to realize this , but once I did the fruits are a lot more than what I worked for. You can never be happy if you are constantly trying to make yourself happy. Try to make others happy and do your duty and that is the secret to eternal happiness.

Era of excellence

I feel I am living in an era of excellence. Anybody who puts in their heart and soul into something, seems to succeed. I am finding inspiration all around me as I continue to do my soul searching.

It is however difficult to determine, if these people chose their field of excellence or just stumbled upon it out of pure coincidence? How about people like me aspiring to acheive excellence? I know very few people live to own up their passion and work towards it. Is it really easy to do? Or is it probably the most easiest and normal thing to do?

I have always beleived that the universe is a very intelligent machine that works for the greater good. However, recently I feel more control over my life. In such a scenario I have started doubting the universe a little bit. Of course, I need the help of the universe to make me go where I want to. However the destination is chosen by me.

I guess I am pretty close to my destination. The only puzzle that is left to be solved is how do I get there?

Life

As I was reading my old posts today, I realized I have been so full of life and energy. I have also been very intelligent. somehow I have changed now. I dont know why.
But I feel I can get back to my old self now. I just need to do a little bit of uncluttering and remove unnecassary things and baggage off myself and I can go back to my old self.
I am also going to blog a little more often. The blog is like a trail for my life.

Life has some lessons to teach
And some tough experiences to give
The lessons make us move forward
And the experience makes us wiser.

Sometimes I wonder – Can I get back to the old me with just the lessons?
I think it is possible
Just unclutter your soul and dig deeper into your true self

Birthday

With every passing day,
There are millions of thoughts that cross my mind,
And thousands of thoughts get transformed into action
And some thoughts into mere words….
With every birthday
I complete a full round, yet I feel I have come back to the same spot!
Sometimes I wonder
Is it because I think the same thoughts day after day?
With every birthday I know I have lived with myself for one more year
Yet, I seem more distant from myself and closer to what the world wants of me.
Should I fight the battle and get closer to me or give in to what the world wants?
I never seem to know
Every birthday of mine has a common trait,
It brings more questions into the horizon
And the answers seem many light years away…….

Atheism

With most of the people I know turning atheists, I turn everyday to my deeply religious roots. Is it because I am a very complicated person? I wonder! I need some help from our scriptures to understand how to be more peaceful, happy and content. The scriptures have a lot to offer. Ramayana tells us the story of Rama – an extremely virtuous person living a normal life. When we turn our attention to people like that, slowly we imbibe their characteristics. When I listen or read to the numerous stories in our scriptures (I love stories as well), it makes me deeply content. I am yet to understand the reason for the contentment. The grand images and beautiful characters who are ever giving make me inspired.
I am not against atheists. I don’t understand why atheists hate theists like me. The atheists totally detest temple worship. Are they totally oblivious of the fact that the temples support millions of small businesses – in the form of flowers, idols and calendars/posters? The money donated to a temple by rich people goes to good causes. Temples offer free food and shelter for homeless people. A small part of the money goes into buying coconuts and other worship items for the idols. I guess it is not such an immense amount to the millions looted by our politicians.
If someone really followed our scriptures, they would contribute to a loving and beautiful society. Yet, most of us follow things that are convenient to us.

Thoughts

I always want to write something when I am in bed. I think that’s when I am not doing anything. Just lying and waiting to sleep. I have too many thoughts tonight. Thoughts that have become heavy enough for me to not to be able to carry forward.

My first thought is about the world’s or I should say the US’s perception of India. I was chatting with a colleague of mine at work. She is a lady who takes care of supplies and other administrative tasks. She is from some part of Africa (here comes my ignorance I did not ask her exactly where she was from). She said she never wanted to go back to her country because of safety issues and corruption and other reasons. She then asked me if I wanted to go back. I told her I definitely wanted to go back- “That’s where all the growth is – Wouldn’t I be missing it if I was here? In 5 years at least I want to go back” (I did not tell her how much more convincing I had to do to get my husband back to India). She gave me a picture of India – a place full of slums, unhygienic and so on. I don’t blame her – that’s what Mr.Slumdog millionaire has done to the world. A movie based on a book of one of the greatest ideas “Q&A” exaggerated to lengths to belittle India beyond anyone’s wildest imagination. The movie would have been total nonsense if not for the music – “A.R.Rehman” and the Indian actors. So if you remove all the Indian elements out of the movie, there is nothing left. Yet, these people got together to create a piece which would show India in its most ugly form. Is that because we crave international attention so much? India has a soul, a deep spirit – great values, which people in India themselves, are trying to kill by getting westernized every day. Why India- why do you want to get into this western trap ?
I think the arranged marriage is one of the best inventions of this world. After months of deliberation and thought I have come to the conclusion that love is non existant. All that exists are hormones and when the hormones wear out – there is nothing left for two people to stay together. So would you marry someone because the hormones are high when you see them? The hormones are secreted more if you see a symmetrical face with perfect features , a body that shows signs of reproductive capabilities. We as humans are constantly trying to procreate – either consciously or without our knowledge. That’s how we are made. So we think we like someone because the hormones are secreted more. WE also like or think we love someone when that person likes us. In sum, there is nothing called love – its all just pure HORMONES.
A few weeks back, I told a friend of mine – “ I made my marriage decisions with my mind and not my heart” - Might sound like a typical bollywood dialogue , but true. I think I have all the wisdom in my spirit, which led me to choose the path of arranged marriage. The path that surprises so many people of the west. I think it’s the safest haven ever. There is an old saying in Tamil – “Mind is a monkey”. I could probably say our heart is fickle , I am pretty sure everybody’s heart is . In this world nothing is permanent. One of my colleagues advised me to take up a less challenging career because I was a woman. HE said “ Jobs come and go, family is what remains.” IF my mother in law thought so when she got married, she would have been in streets with three children when her husband died five years into marriage.
So people , at least my Indian folks - Don’t give up your solid relationships that you have – your mother, father and everyone for these hormones. Let us all promote our eastern thoughts and spirit.

The Zahir

The Zahir

Zahir is the name of a book by Paulo Coelho . I read it years back but thoroughly enjoyed it. Zahir means “obsession” . The book is about a writer who is obsessed with his wife who just disappears one day. We all have our zahirs from time to time. I had one yesterday.

I don’t remember when I came across this book – “Two states” by Chetan Bhagat. I read some reviews about it and felt a great connection to the female lead. Actually I have always felt a strong resemblance to the female leads of his books – One night, 5 Point and so on. It is probably a very common story, but it would the first book of Chetan I would read after coming to US. One thing greatly refreshing about his stories is the fact that his stories are based in India.

From the time I saw this, I really wanted to read it. I went to an old bookstore near my work place to find it. One had to search through the numerous piles of old books (They do not have a database where you can search through – they sell books for $1). The best thing about New York is you can choose to spend $1 to $100 on anything you want. It is Mumbai – magnified 10,000 times. Mumbai has always been my favorite place and so will New York be. So I searched for this book and ended up spending about 1 hour and got a book I remotely wanted. The woman at the counter asked me “Did you find everything all right?”. I told her I was looking for a specific book. She replied, “We have a big sale on 14th of August and you could probably find the book you want”. All I could do was just sigh. I caught a subway back home and on my way back to the dorm, looked at every bookstore.

I got back home, made myself some tea and set out again. I found another bookstore that sold books for $2. I scanned through all the books and finally the guy at the bookstore suggested I could probably find the book in “Strand “. It turned out to be a really big bookstore with all kinds of books. (About 5 times as big as Barnes and Nobles). Luckily they had a database, a guy at the counter looked through and said he didn’t have any books of Chetan.

I thought I had come this far and could to buy something. My eyes caught on to something “Bhagavath Gita –as it is “. The price on it was unbelievable – 50 cents. They say good things in life come for free, but probably the best thing in life comes at 50 cents.

I came back home and ordered “Two states” for $8 on Amazon

Alone, yet together

New York made her more Indian than she was in India. Looking back she always adored India, north India more. She did not know the reasons. Somehow their culture looked appealing to her. They were westernized in a lot of ways (partly), yet had that Indian element. Women were respected more (She felt). She probably ate a lot of pastas, Chinese noodles, pizzas and sandwiches when she was in India, now her diet comprised primarily of curries (from the Indian restaurants in Lexington). Books she bought in India – Sidney Sheldon, Jeffrey Archer and Ayn Rand. Now she buys Bhagvath Gita, Hinduism and Chetan Bhagath.
This was her last weekend in NYC. Hmmm, what did she want to do? Shopping (which she did almost every weekend)! Yeah, why not? She got the attention that she had when she was in India. Her colleagues telling her – Nice haircut, nice shoes and nice skirt and so on. She wanted attention primarily in her life which she realized that when she was here. New York would be very special to her. Osho says “ You grow when you are alone” . She was alone in New York , yet she never felt that way. She felt more at ease than she was with people. She could do whatever she wanted, she need not find out what the other person wants and reach a compromise on what they wanted to do. Sometimes just doing what you want can give you lots of happiness and make you forget what you want. Was she a loner? Not really.
So her last weekend, she was sure she wanted to go to few places – Central park, have a mysore dosa, watch an Indian flick. She checked out the listings and found Aisha. She set out early to explore the city stopping at parks and enjoying nature at its very best.
Sometimes looking at your kind of people can give you a great feeling of connection. That’s how she felt when she got into the movie theatre that smelled of samosas.Seeing people dressed in salwar suits and sarees made her happy. She got the ticket and got herself a nice seat. She sat sitting and reveling in her new shoes and dress (that she got in a sale –she was a bargain shopper). She had her earphones on, as always. She heard a feeble voice near her “Is someone coming here?” .She looked up and saw a woman in her late fifties wearing a silk saree printed “Om” all across. Reminded her of her periamma. She said “No one”. The lady said “Do you mind if I sit here? “ Of course not”, said she! I will address the lady as “periamma” and her as “she”.
Periamma started talking “These seats are not so good as American theatres are!”
She “Oh, I thought they are a lot better after Ambani bought them”
Periamma “Obviously! But still they are not as good as American theatres”
She “Oh!”
Periamma” But they don’t censor the movies here, They showed Kites with all the uncensored scenes”
Is this what happens when traditional Indian women come to New York? She later found out that Periamma lived in Manhattan since 1974, had a son who was a doctor in San Diego, two daughters - One near her apartment and the other in New Jersey. Her children had all gone to attend a wedding in New Jersey.
Periamma said” I already attended the engagement. These weddings are so boring! I thought I wanted to watch a hindi movie today” She felt a deep connection, she thought would probably be like her in her late fifties. She hated attending weddings. She didn’t want one either. She wanted a register marriage “”alaipayuthey style”, yet her parents insisted on the wedding.
Periamma seemed a lot knowledgeable about Hindi film industry. Periamma spoke about the actresses and their politics and knew about almost all hindi movies.
“I read star dust”, It gives me a lot of info about hindi movies. I missed Raavan . How was it?” Periamma said.
“Yea, you are asking the right person, I thought”
The twenty minutes seemed like an eternity when she spoke about Aishwarya Rai and her lovers, Deepika Padukone and her father, Sonam Kapoor and how she was struggling – I enjoyed it. I like to know what the celebrities do.
As the movie started, she felt so connected to the periamma. Sometimes you have to be alone to bring new people into your lives. This is not about two people different coming together. Its about two people so similar bought together by fate. Sometimes you have to let go of your old feelings, thoughts , ideas , memories and people to make room for new ones.
When the movie finished, they thought “ we are all alone, yet together !”

Raavan review

When I finished composing the review, I logged into my blog and found that my last post was about Ramayana. What a coincidence.


Sometimes you just have to let it out! You have to stand for what you think even though the rest of the world is against you!
About a month back in Oklahoma, I was thinking of some of the best of Mani’s work to watch. I was shocked to find that there were only 3 movies that I adored – Dil Se, Iruvar and Mouna Ragam. Others were good, but were superficial and lacked the indepth element these movies possessed. I love Aytha Ezhuthu, alaipayuthey, agni nakshatram, guru et all. But the 3 movies shook me and grew on me every time I saw them. I had no such hopes when I took off to watch Raavan. I went with an open mind and was sure I would be entertained. The result, I have discovered another movie that I can add to the list and I feel with this movie Mani Rathnam has reached new heights.
Some of the things I truly loved about this movie.
1) Aby, Aby , Aby- I think he is the best. He has acted amazingly well.
2) The scene where they fight- Ranjha Ranjha background ( Reminds of a fight in Dil Se)
3) The scene after the fight where he asks her to stay with him
4) The scene near the idol where he talks about jealousy
5) The last scene where he tells her what he told Dev
6) The reversal of dialogue- Bak Bak Bak Bak
7) Not bringing up anything physical – IT seemed like pure eternal love
8) The idea of the movie – What if Raavan was indeed a good person and Ram had some shades of evil? Would Sita still have lived with Rama?
9) The background music – I think Rehman has got his magic back. I did not listen to such BGM in Kannathil Muthamittal, Guru, Aytha Ezhuthu. I heard it in Dil Se, Iruvar, Roja, a little bit in Alaipayuthey. The background music seemed to tell me about Beera’s love. The magic of Rehman and Mani- amazing.
10) The dialogues in the climax. They just melt my heart. I felt if someone loved me like this, I could just die.
11) The concept of love with a married woman. How intense must the love be to love her even after knowing that she cannot be attained. The love has to be ten thousand times more intense than falling in love with an unmarried. This love is not about lust. It is true love. The jealousy definitely makes the love more beautiful.
12) If Raavan had not died , the love would have been ordinary. Raavan dying seemed to have made the love so beautiful.
13) Music of Raavan. I did not like it the first time. But after the movie , I understand the depth of Behne De and Thok De Gilli. I love Khilli re, awesome choreography.
14) I liked Aby’s brother. Don’t know who he is, but he is great.
Things I did not like about the movie
15) I liked the title and the title song. The movie starts with an impact. Raavan burning the police men.

Things I did not like:
1) Typical Bollywood style revenge story
2) Priyamani’s part – total waste
3) Govinda’s character – unwanted except for comedy( Govinda did a great job though)
4) Unwanted analogies to Ramayan – Sniffing by Priyamani, Govinda going as a messenger, a brother like Vibishen.
5) The character of Dev.At times it seemed he did not love Ragini at all. Killing Beera’s brother would have definitely provoked Beera to kill Ragini(simple logic). He uses her to find Beera. The character need not be this evil for Ragini to dislike him.
6) At points dragging second half.

Most of all this movie got me thinking of the conflict between Ramayana and Bhagavath Gita. Bhagavath Gita says, “ What was yours today, will be somebody else’s tomorrow.” By that idea, Rama should have let Sita live with Raavana, it is not like Rama owned Sita. Why did they both suffer for 14 years? And Sita had to go back to the forest again. Ragini also suffers because of Dev’s profession. It is said Ramayana was written to show men how to live. I feel women all over the world live like Sita. Ultimately most of the women end up choosing men who are like Dev. What if they find someone like Beera after marriage?
Marriage is like a boundary the society makes for a woman. For the sake of the society should the woman let go of the more beautiful life? Or would the marriage make Beera another Dev? I would never get these answers. I am grateful that Beera is dead. I can think for life that he truly loved Ragini.
I love Mani, I am sure he is Beera. The creation of this love did not come out of vacuum. I rank this one of Mani’s best, next only to Iruvar.

Raavan review

The Perfect Relationship

As I read the Ramayana, I felt a multitude of emotions. As though I had experienced all the things the characters go through in it.It is strange , but once I thought that Ramayana was a fiction.But now deep inside me I feel all this has happened somewhere sometime....

I sat down to write about the relationship between Rama and Sita on Thursday when I was interrupted. From that time I have never been able to write. They say there is a perfect time for everything.When we look back, we feel the timing could never have been so perfect.Our life is woven perfectly ,though mysteriously.So many people have told this.One I can think of right now is Steve Jobs when he talks about connecting the dots.Our life seems to be perfectly thought about , yet dynamic.

Now , back to my topic of Rama and Sita. Their love is described as being so deep.Sita leaves a very luxurious life and goes to the forest just to be with Rama.She does not get tempted by the riches of Ravana to become his wife .Yet she is asked to spend her life alone later in the forest in Valmiki asrama by Rama.But they still love each other at a level we as human beings seldom experience.

We all in our lives hope for the perfect relationship. Conventionally we want a good looking, rich, well educated and nice guy or girl.But deep down what do we really want? We do not know until we are in the presence of such a person. The glimpses of such a person comes across in some of our friends, movie character, character in novel.Sometimes we might like somebody because we like the way they like us. Admist all this how do we figure out what we want? With what kind of person can we truly spend our lives with?

We all know when we meet such a person. We know this is what we have been waiting for all our lives. We feel like being in a trance.As we know that person he or she is all that we truly wanted. But then once that has been realized we think, Oh my god..This is too good to be true. Then we start looking around and find out small small imperfections. Then we are happy.

When I speak to some of my friends who are still in the dating phase, They ask me..Is it how you are supposed to feel?I sometimes think is the feeling felt the same way in all of us? We dont know.We just feel and we try to describe it as best we can . Because he or she felt the way I do, doesnt mean that is what he or she wants...Shahrukh Khan in most of his movies says,"Kuch Kuch Hota Hai" and blah blah blah....

The concept of soulmate-- is being intepreted in so many ways in movies and books, that we no longer listen to our hearts. But a soulmate exists for everyone and what he (0r she)wants you to do is keep your heart open to listen and feel.....

Do women change after marriage?

This topic came about when I was talking to a friend whose sister was about to get married....She did not want to, but had to because of her mom's compulsion...Why do a lot of us resist marriage? If it is just one of the events in our life? If after marriage, we are going to face the same day and night, but with another person why do we hesitate and try to postpone it as much as we can? Is it just a resistance to change? Or is it much more than that? A feeling of inability of having life in our own hands? Does our life change after marriage?

I was sure before i got married that marriage is just a part of life.My life partner would be one who would assist me in attaining my goals and I in turn would help him out in reaching his goals.So from the beginning I have never been afraid of marriage. I thought it was a positive experience. I have not reached a conclusion that marriage isnt a positive experience. But makes me wonder are we- women all the same after marriage?

Some of my old friends who are now married can talk nothing else other than cooking, their husbands , mother in law, father in law and their babies. A woman's life especially in India falls into the hands of not just her husband but also her father in law, mother in law..This does not mean her parents are not controlling her anymore. And she becomes pulled apart by all of them and does nothing she really wants to do.On top of it there are children? Why is there pressure in the society to have children and sacrifice our lives for the child? Is our life not important enough?When a child comes, he or she becomes the priority. The woman though making a lot of money would want to spend the money on or child's crib then her own fancy shoes.

As for me life was definitely not a big bed of roses. I did make small adjustments to live with my husband.And he made a lot more adjustments for me.But in the light of small joys I have seemed to have lost my sight on the "Big goals of my life".I want to plan my career admist family matters.

What is the ultimate solution for this? It is indeed tough for a woman to settle in her career and then get married(They say there is a biological clock - not to forget what the society will say about an unmarried woman at 30)

Is a woman's life just to sacrifice for her husbands and kids? Do we really change after marriage?

I am back

Today when i typed my blogspot name. I tried to guess when did i blog last?
My motivation to write almost dwindled with lot of things happening in my life. I guess its been more than a year now. But it has been a year where I have undergone a lot of spritual development and I have learnt a lot.

Being alone gives me a lot of peace.It is a great contrast compared to the noisy and busy Chennai where if u get a minute alone, it is indeed too much to ask for. In this year I did things I have wanted to do for long(Except writing of course).Tried to get a decent workout, read books, learn astrology , know more about fitness, spend time alone contemplating, think about my career , travel and what not? I came across the writings of Deepak Chopra. It was great and it is definitely something on my way to spritual enhancement.The DVD "Seven Spritual Laws of Success" was great and I could reflect on my past.I understand some of the reasons for my success and reasons for my failure.

I am right now reading "The Ramayana".It is the greatest story I have ever read. I got it in Oklahoma City Library with all the seven Kandas(Isn't that amazing?).It fills my with peace and I never want to put the book down.

I saw all the Oscar nominated movies, Slumdog(before the oscar),Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Vicky Christina Barcelona,The Reader. I loved the reader, Vicky Christina was fun,Benjamin was ok.I tried to watch Milk, but couldnt.Stopped like in an hour. Same was the case with Duchess.
I spend a lot of time here cleaning and cooking too. That is the disadvantage of living in USA. I really adore the servants we had in Chennai and I really equate them to GOD. To deal with dust day in and day out , it really gets frustrating .

I visited quite a few places, Pittsburg to my uncle's place, Washington-Prabhu's uncle , Nayagra, Dallas, We went on Cruise to Sandiego, Catalina Island ,Mexico, SanJose.

I watch a lot of re-runs here. "sex and the city","Everybody loves Raymond","Friends".They are all amazing serials. Good fun!

I am also trying to get back to work.Applied to B-Schools.Hopefully should go to school this Fall.

From being really neurotic ,I have transformed to a mature and collected person.Could not have been possible without meeting the love of my life..;)

RACE IS DEFINITELY ON MY MIND AND ON MY SOUL!

RACE

Movie about Power,Money and Jealousy!!!!! God, I almost lived through the experience of “The other side of Midnight”.How could such a movie be complete without Double crossing??? Yep!It has loads and loads of it! But this movie I am sure will give the viewers a lot of strength.Saif I felt was at his best.I feel he is the Hottest Hero in Bollywood! The character which stayed in my mind even after the movie was his!The movie was an absolute entertainer with a lot of twists.I would not say unexpected twists as Bips was describing in her interviews.

My expectation of the movie was not great.Probably because I saw Jodha Akbar before this ,which was one of the most sloppiest movies I have seen.

The central characters of the movie were of course Saif and Akshay.I don’t like Akshay at all.Infact he is the only Bollywood actor I really don’t like and in this movie he had not done anything exceptional nor was his characterization was cool! The next important person is Bips , who keeps you guessing on which side she is .Katrina seemed to have no big role , but the twist at the end is well brought about!

I infact enjoyed this movie better than the remix version of “Billa” which is again about Power and Money.Probably because this has more strong characters.I really loved the characterization of Saif ,” Mein Dhokha Dhene Walon ko Dhubhara Mauka Kabhi Nahin Dhetha”And his characterization is so gray, would call him an honest thief!!! In all wicked games there needs to be a little extent of fairness , I am all for it!

Anil Kapoor and Saimira you will feel have no big role to play other than the humor track.But even these characters provide a lot of twist in the story!

I really don’t want to reveal the plot of the movie which was its biggest plus.Well thought of and executed.I could really not find any fault with it!The music was awesome too.My personal Favorites being Allah Duhai, Race is on my mind,Zara Zara.

This movie is something I enjoyed as much as “Jab We Met”.Again I could not find anything about this movie I did not like.Abbas Mustan - great going.But I seriously feel it is a remake of some Hollywood Flick.Do any of you guys know???????Do let me know…

a chapter from my novel

Long since i posted chapters from my novel.


A lovely chapter!!! when meghna meets him after long years of break up... Enjoyed it a lot as i wrote.. Thanks to Meghna.. really love her !!!For making me go through all her experiences as she narrates it to me....
Enjoy

She got up bored! Yet another day, the same routine!She brushed, bathed and got ready.Her mind blank and yet filled with thoughts of everyday activity. She did not know how to get out of it and even if she got out she did not know what she should do.She fought a battle within herself on why she felt this way! Was she missing something? Was this a feeling of void?What was missing?She tried to avoid the thoughts but in vain.She got dressed and checked herself in the mirror! She was wearing a brown and yellow salwar, loose hair and slight makeup! She took some sheets and walked out of the house after locking it!

It was autumn with brown leaves everywhere and her dress kind of complimented the environment! She walked slowly enjoying the weather with boredom out of her mind for sometime!

Suddenly a very strong wind blew her sheets away. One by one she tried to catch up. Someone caught the sheets from behind and came in front!. She did not notice who it was as she was too consumed about the sheets.One moment she looked at his face, the music that had lingered in her ears years back seemed to come back. A kind of elated feeling filled her spine.

What she had thought impossible happened today! She did not have the time to think if it was due to destiny or her intense desire that she saw him .The music of happiness was at its full volume at her ears when she saw the look of longing and happiness on his face! Did he then really love her?

She seemed to be out of the world and she wanted to freeze the moment forever.She wanted to see him like this as if it was the first time she saw him.She felt she needed nothing else in her life other than his presence.She wanted the music to be heard all through her life for her boredom to vanish!

She could not hold herself any longer.She went forward and hugged him.Tears welled up her eyes! She was experiencing the most beautiful feeling of her life as if she had got back her lost priced possession.The sense of security and warmth she felt grew strong as he hug her.She did not want to think what she was doing was right or wrong.She wanted to enjoy the moment!

JAB WE MET REView

JAB WE MET


Now where do I start? It was one of the most amazing movies I have seen in my life! Even though I have not written anything for a long time , I could not stop myself from writing a review of this awesome movie.Seriously awesome is the word because the core of this movie speaks the philosophy of my life” Zindagi me Insaan jo real me chahtha hai wahi hotha hai”.The moment Geet spoke this I was happy that my philosophy is being shared by someone else and that is being watched by so many other people.

I really love men who really wholeheartedly love a woman. A man cant see a woman he loves in pain and if someone else hurts her he cannot stand it!The way he consoles her when Anshuman hurts her is very touching. I could not stop myself from falling in love with the characterization of Aditya .Shahids expressions in the “Nagada”song and other instances when he blushes I am sure will steal any womans heart.He reaches the pinnacles of acting in “Tumse Hi”.The music, lyrics, acting and charactereization of this song are “Direct Dil Se”Aankhon me aankhen theri, baathon me baathen theri, mera na mujhme kuch raha, hua kya? This was what I felt at the end of the movie.Shahid was awesome in this movie.


Kareena s role is one of the most important in the movie as the director tries to instill a philosophy or a way to live through her.It is one of the sweetest roles I have seen in any of the movies and kareena fits in perfectly.

Aditya Kashyap(Shahid) is a devasted young man after his girl friend ditches him.Faced with continous hardships in life-his dads demise, his mom s elopement and their companys shares crashing,he becomes highly pessimistic about life and runs away from it in a train.Now the wheel of fortune in his life turns up and he meets Geet(Kareena) who is a chatterbox on her way to Bhatinda.Irritatted by her garrulous nature he gets down from the train.But she misses her train and blames him for that and forces him to drop her at Bhainda. On their journey they learn a lot about each other.Geet is in love with Anshuman and has made elaborate plans of elopement.On reaching her place she comes to know that they have fixed her marriage.So she decides to elope immediately,Shahid accompanies her.He drops her at Anshumans place and gets back to business and makes it go places.Meanwhile Geet has not returned.What happened to Geet and Anshuman and what Aditya does remains the crux of this story.I loved the train scenes and the scenes till they reach bhatinda.

The music and lyrics are the USP s of this movie.They were in sync with the movie, very appropriate.My personal favorite is “Yeh Ishq Hai”.Any woman can relate to her love when listening to this song! Next comes Tumse hi , it becomes the core song of the movie.The Punjabi settings were highly colorful.I feel like visiting some Punjabi household and know if their household is so much fun all the time.So undoubtedly I loved Nagada and Mauja hi Mauja.”Yeh raaste” is also a favorite for me because I love traveling and seeing two people enjoy traveling appealed to me . Even Aaoge Jab is my favorite as it talks about the depth of pain in love.

I think this is one of the pure and out and out love story I have seen.The train sequences are very hilarious and the characterization of Geet doesn go out of place even once.She behaves exactly as how a girl of her type would.Filled with innocence and optimism which is actually the need of hour.Every human being today needs a lot of these two to succeed in life.Worrying or forseeing a problem is not going to help anyone today.What is going to happen only will happen.

Well, I have been thinking what I did not like in this movie. Honestly Nothing! And what I loved? Well, the list is pretty long.Definitely it takes a place in the list of my favorite movies.