What to say? I saw RDB for the third time. Now all of you out there will wonder after criticizing the movie so much why did I watch it for the third time. People all around me wanted to watch it, so I had no other go but to watch it. But now I understood the whole meaning about the movie, the soul of the movie.The meaning of being an INDIAN. The movie seems to be very deep in meaning to me!!! Ya, all I understood is the most important part of the movie are the first and last scene..
I have seen three kinds of people in my life….
One. Who die, screaming!
Two. Who die silently!
And then, I met a third kind.
The third kind represents a true Indian.
How many of u right now reading my blog think that India is a poor country? The following are the lines for you, kindly read on, words uttered by swami vivekananda.
In his preaching and teaching for the west, the swami, while expressing admiration for the progressive spirit of the west, never allowed himself to be carried away by it. He uncompromisingly stood for the cultural dignity of India and her incomparable spiritual excellence, and gave expression to it in bold and powerful words. A quotation from his masterly oratorical pieces,My master, is illustrative of this point. He says, “but before going into the life of this man (Sri Ramakrishna), I will try to present before you the secret of India, what India means. if those whose eyes have been blinded by the glamour of material things, whose whole dedication of life is to eating and drinking and enjoying, whose ideal of possession is lands and gold, whose ideal of pleasure is that of the senses, whose god is money, and whose goal is a life of ease and comfort in this world and death after that,whose minds never look forward, and who rarely think of anything higher than the sense objects in the midst of which they live;-such as these go to India, what do they see?poverty, squalor,superstition,darkness,hideousness everywhere.why? because in their minds enlightenment means dress, education, social politeness.whereas,occidental nations have used every effort to improve their material position, India has done differently.there live the only men in the worls, who, in the whole history of humanity,never went beyond the frontiers to conquer anyone,who never coveted that which belonged to anyone else, whose only fault was that their lands were so fertile,and they accumulated wealth by the hard labour of their hands,and so tempted other nations to come and despoil them.they are content to be despoiled, and to be called barbarians,and in return thet want to send to this world visions of the supreme,to lay bare for the world the secrets of human nature, to rend the veil that conceals the real man, because they know the dream,because they know that behind this materialism lives the real divine nature of man which no sin can tarnish,no crime can spoil,no lust can taint,which fire cannot burn,nor water wet,which heat cannot dry,nor death kill;and to them this true nature of man is as real as is any material object to the senses of an occidental.
Now here is where I find the relation between RDB and swamiji,
There it is that a man sits on the bank of a river, when he has known life is eternal, and wants to give up his body just as nothing, just as you can give up a bit of straw.
Courtesy,swami vivekananda, his life and legacy by swami tapasyananda.
I was nearly moved to tears reading this. And took this strenuous effort of typing it, because I feel this younger generation should read this and be proud to be an Indian.
Bhaghat singh says in the first scene, this is not the end, it’s the beginning.We should all strive to be true to ourselves and our country , rather than ape someone else’s culture and traditions.We will definitely feel true happiness in love and affection , rather than the pleasure of the senses. that is how, we are made, our country is made.
My admiration of swamiji has no words and I am simply proud to be born in the same country as him and to read the words uttered by him.
Coming back to rdb, Indians look at death normally, they don’t panick at the thought of death, because we feel the soul is more superior.
The body is supposed to be inferior , and that is why it is burnt at death.
Here is a poem for my nation,
The sky,
The sand,
The air,
Which belongs to my country,
I am madly in love with
The colour of my sky,
The smell of my sand,
The sweetness of air,
Where else can I find?
The buildings,
The roads,
The life
Is all bonded with my soul
Where else will I have a heart?
To feel things I feel now
The gods I worship
My love to my mom, dad, sis, friends and relatives
Where else will I find?
This second,this beauty
In my room,
This scorching heat
Which soothes my heart
The cool breeze which melts me away,
My dearest India,
Its my everlasting bonding with you which will never perish
First it was swadesh, then aytha ezhuthu and now RDB, which have kindled my patriotic spirit.
We need not strive hard to become rich, but rather try to be a true Indian and show the world , the greatness of our spirit.
Saturday, March 11, 2006
Sunday, February 26, 2006
short story 4m a long story
hi ppl... hmmm, i ve selected da first chapter about da female lead to be put up on the net, i have written it in great haste.. but pls do readit n post yr honstcomments abt it...
now, here it s....
She was thinking of the day before as she was brushing, looking at her clear face in the mirror.My god! Nobody can imagine to do things half as crazy as her
Shakthi was a twenty-year-old girl. She was extremely tall, around 5’8’, dark hair, . A lovely structure and a happy face. Anybody who looked at her face could not go without returning a smile. Always there was some kind of happiness or satisfaction in her face, a selfless look at the same time an egoistic arrogance. Difficult to interpret what it was. But nobody could say it was unfriendly. It was inviting. Nobody would find themselves hesitant to talk to her. But kiddish she was, people loved her for that.
.She llooked at the time, 7.20. gosh! When will she ever learn to be in time? She finished her brushing , took bath and got ready in a hurry.She hurried to the station.There were her friends waiting for her.
“ did you watch the latest trailer of the movie?,”
“amazing song”
there was some discussion about some movie going on.But shakthi s mind was not in it.She was very restless.She got into the train.She got down from the train, once she remembered something.Ya, Radhikha was not there. No matter how late she went, she never could leave Radhika and go.
Radhika came panting, “ oops, sorry shak.Late because of me again?’
“of course.I never thought god could ever create someone who is less punctual than me.”
“I am not going to say sorry. I ll come early next day.”
The next train came.they got into it.It started raining.”wow” said shakthi.
The next half an hour, shakthi and radhikha were in their own worlds.Talking and laughing like two crazy girls.They never ran out of topics.That was the beauty of friendship.There is nothing more beautiful in this world than having a real intimate friend, who can identify somethin is wrong with you just by looking at you, who can understand your every move.
They then switched on their radio in high volume and started singing in a high pitch.Radhikha had completely closed her eyes, Shakthi through the corner of her eyes saw, Mr.Ramakrishnan their electronics devices professor in the next station..She hit Radhikha hard on the shoulder.But Radhikha did not seem to notice it at all.Ramakrishnan was staring at them.Shakthi hit radhikha really hard after putting off the radio.Only after the radio was put off did Radhikha ever open her eyes.By the time they had crossed the station.Shakthi was now worried.”hey, we have electronics devices second hour today”said Radhika.
Seeing radhikha frightened, Shakthi got her courage..”don’t worry Radhi,what can he do max. now put your things inside the bag.our stop has come and we are late by 10 mins already to Nuts class.”
“ he wont say anything shak, lets go liesurly.”
“y take risk? Let us take an auto from the station. Already ramakrishnan saw us right?”
Their college, Engineering college of chennai , was a prestigious self financing engineering college of chennai.
Their class advisor, Mr.Natarajan welcomed them heartily.
“hullo madam”(twice to both).
“ do you realize you both are late by fifteen minutes for the third time in the week?”it was Wednesday and all three days they had come late.
“whats wrong with him , today?” whispered radhikha in shakthi’s ears.”shut up” said shakthi and stamped radhika’s foot.
“sir, today the train frequency was very less.So we caught a bus, but the bus broke down.Waited a long time in the bus stop sir, sorry sir. Last two days, I accept it was our fault.We came late, not today sir. Sorry sir.” Said shakthi.She could lie as easily as eating a chewing gum.
Natarajan gave a sly lok, gave a controlled smile and let them in.The next half an hour went blah blah on physics.Radhikha and shakthi from time to time made comments on Nuts shirt(nuts is the nickname given by radhikha to natarajan),is mannerisms and laughed within themselves.Nuts also got drowned into physics that he did not notice these girls.Jeeva their classmate also kept nuts busy by pouring questions non stop.
Shakthi atleast made an attempt to listen to the sophorific lecture from time to time, but Radhika was happily reading a novel underneath.
Shakthi looked at her and realized how much she loved her and how much close they had become in this small span of time.She told herself from time to time, if Radhikha was a guy she would definitely marry her
The bell rang.Nuts kept on continuing the classes.”shit, if he leaves the class late, rama and nuts will meet”, said radhi..
Shakthi just moved her hands towards the ceiling and said”all his work.”
Rama was waiting outside the class.Sometimes it becomes this pathetic.The first hour sir wants to continue classes for 10 mins and the second hour lecturer wants to start classes 10 mins before.They never do get a break in such cases.Nuts saw rama and got down from the dias.He hurried outside.Shakthi and Radhikha realized they need to give their attendance, they rushed outside.By that time, nuts and rama were talking something.
“hello girls.So had fun singing your heart out?”it was Rama.
Rama then narrated the entire incident to Nuts.Nuts looked at them both and gave a harsh look and said”come and meet me in the lunch,”
The other classes were uneventful with assignments and boring lectures.
Lunch break came and they both went to the class after all the enquires their classmates had done.
Nuts was about to open his lunch box when the two girls came in.
“hmmm. Been hearing a lot about you two girls.So what was that song you two girls could not resist singing?”
The two girls kept quiet.
“anyways, I just called you to create an impression that I was being strict with you people.Here after plan to do something mishchievous, please don’t do it such that other staff see it.”
The two girls looked at each other and they could not stop smiling.
“Great. I was more fun in my college days. Don’t ever miss this fun in life.You will never get it back in life.”
“sure sir”, they both said in chorus.They sped to class laughing all the way.lunch period and the other three hours went on as usual.Radhika finished her book, got caught once.Shakthi again managed by puttin the book she lent 4m library.
The last hour was over and Radhika had to go by bus cause she had to go attend a wedding.Shakthi got into the train as usual.
The train came to a halt; shakthi realized that her stop had come. She had been in her own world during the train journey.
As soon as she got down, it began to rain heavily. Shakthi was so happy, she got a chance to get drenched.
But, oh my god, father had put the umbrella into the bag in the morning, she said to herself.
But I will get drenched, what is he going to do, after all scold me. The rain was too heavy, but she went singing to herself and smiling to herself. Suddenly she realized that there were people around her. She tried to hide her smile, but it really didn’t work out.
Her dress was sticking to her, but still she didn’t care about it. It was she and the rain and she really wanted to enjoy the rain. Anything should be experienced at least once. She laughed at herself and she went on.
The raindrops were slowly coming to her forehead and erasing her bindi. A car was parked on the side of the road; she looked at its window and erased her bindi fully.
Then she started walking again. When she reached the corner of the street, she opened her umbrella and began walking again. She never realized that people around her were staring at her. She was in her own world.
Once she was home, her mom and dad fussed around her trying to dry her.Her mobile rang and she got into her room and closed it from behind.
now, here it s....
She was thinking of the day before as she was brushing, looking at her clear face in the mirror.My god! Nobody can imagine to do things half as crazy as her
Shakthi was a twenty-year-old girl. She was extremely tall, around 5’8’, dark hair, . A lovely structure and a happy face. Anybody who looked at her face could not go without returning a smile. Always there was some kind of happiness or satisfaction in her face, a selfless look at the same time an egoistic arrogance. Difficult to interpret what it was. But nobody could say it was unfriendly. It was inviting. Nobody would find themselves hesitant to talk to her. But kiddish she was, people loved her for that.
.She llooked at the time, 7.20. gosh! When will she ever learn to be in time? She finished her brushing , took bath and got ready in a hurry.She hurried to the station.There were her friends waiting for her.
“ did you watch the latest trailer of the movie?,”
“amazing song”
there was some discussion about some movie going on.But shakthi s mind was not in it.She was very restless.She got into the train.She got down from the train, once she remembered something.Ya, Radhikha was not there. No matter how late she went, she never could leave Radhika and go.
Radhika came panting, “ oops, sorry shak.Late because of me again?’
“of course.I never thought god could ever create someone who is less punctual than me.”
“I am not going to say sorry. I ll come early next day.”
The next train came.they got into it.It started raining.”wow” said shakthi.
The next half an hour, shakthi and radhikha were in their own worlds.Talking and laughing like two crazy girls.They never ran out of topics.That was the beauty of friendship.There is nothing more beautiful in this world than having a real intimate friend, who can identify somethin is wrong with you just by looking at you, who can understand your every move.
They then switched on their radio in high volume and started singing in a high pitch.Radhikha had completely closed her eyes, Shakthi through the corner of her eyes saw, Mr.Ramakrishnan their electronics devices professor in the next station..She hit Radhikha hard on the shoulder.But Radhikha did not seem to notice it at all.Ramakrishnan was staring at them.Shakthi hit radhikha really hard after putting off the radio.Only after the radio was put off did Radhikha ever open her eyes.By the time they had crossed the station.Shakthi was now worried.”hey, we have electronics devices second hour today”said Radhika.
Seeing radhikha frightened, Shakthi got her courage..”don’t worry Radhi,what can he do max. now put your things inside the bag.our stop has come and we are late by 10 mins already to Nuts class.”
“ he wont say anything shak, lets go liesurly.”
“y take risk? Let us take an auto from the station. Already ramakrishnan saw us right?”
Their college, Engineering college of chennai , was a prestigious self financing engineering college of chennai.
Their class advisor, Mr.Natarajan welcomed them heartily.
“hullo madam”(twice to both).
“ do you realize you both are late by fifteen minutes for the third time in the week?”it was Wednesday and all three days they had come late.
“whats wrong with him , today?” whispered radhikha in shakthi’s ears.”shut up” said shakthi and stamped radhika’s foot.
“sir, today the train frequency was very less.So we caught a bus, but the bus broke down.Waited a long time in the bus stop sir, sorry sir. Last two days, I accept it was our fault.We came late, not today sir. Sorry sir.” Said shakthi.She could lie as easily as eating a chewing gum.
Natarajan gave a sly lok, gave a controlled smile and let them in.The next half an hour went blah blah on physics.Radhikha and shakthi from time to time made comments on Nuts shirt(nuts is the nickname given by radhikha to natarajan),is mannerisms and laughed within themselves.Nuts also got drowned into physics that he did not notice these girls.Jeeva their classmate also kept nuts busy by pouring questions non stop.
Shakthi atleast made an attempt to listen to the sophorific lecture from time to time, but Radhika was happily reading a novel underneath.
Shakthi looked at her and realized how much she loved her and how much close they had become in this small span of time.She told herself from time to time, if Radhikha was a guy she would definitely marry her
The bell rang.Nuts kept on continuing the classes.”shit, if he leaves the class late, rama and nuts will meet”, said radhi..
Shakthi just moved her hands towards the ceiling and said”all his work.”
Rama was waiting outside the class.Sometimes it becomes this pathetic.The first hour sir wants to continue classes for 10 mins and the second hour lecturer wants to start classes 10 mins before.They never do get a break in such cases.Nuts saw rama and got down from the dias.He hurried outside.Shakthi and Radhikha realized they need to give their attendance, they rushed outside.By that time, nuts and rama were talking something.
“hello girls.So had fun singing your heart out?”it was Rama.
Rama then narrated the entire incident to Nuts.Nuts looked at them both and gave a harsh look and said”come and meet me in the lunch,”
The other classes were uneventful with assignments and boring lectures.
Lunch break came and they both went to the class after all the enquires their classmates had done.
Nuts was about to open his lunch box when the two girls came in.
“hmmm. Been hearing a lot about you two girls.So what was that song you two girls could not resist singing?”
The two girls kept quiet.
“anyways, I just called you to create an impression that I was being strict with you people.Here after plan to do something mishchievous, please don’t do it such that other staff see it.”
The two girls looked at each other and they could not stop smiling.
“Great. I was more fun in my college days. Don’t ever miss this fun in life.You will never get it back in life.”
“sure sir”, they both said in chorus.They sped to class laughing all the way.lunch period and the other three hours went on as usual.Radhika finished her book, got caught once.Shakthi again managed by puttin the book she lent 4m library.
The last hour was over and Radhika had to go by bus cause she had to go attend a wedding.Shakthi got into the train as usual.
The train came to a halt; shakthi realized that her stop had come. She had been in her own world during the train journey.
As soon as she got down, it began to rain heavily. Shakthi was so happy, she got a chance to get drenched.
But, oh my god, father had put the umbrella into the bag in the morning, she said to herself.
But I will get drenched, what is he going to do, after all scold me. The rain was too heavy, but she went singing to herself and smiling to herself. Suddenly she realized that there were people around her. She tried to hide her smile, but it really didn’t work out.
Her dress was sticking to her, but still she didn’t care about it. It was she and the rain and she really wanted to enjoy the rain. Anything should be experienced at least once. She laughed at herself and she went on.
The raindrops were slowly coming to her forehead and erasing her bindi. A car was parked on the side of the road; she looked at its window and erased her bindi fully.
Then she started walking again. When she reached the corner of the street, she opened her umbrella and began walking again. She never realized that people around her were staring at her. She was in her own world.
Once she was home, her mom and dad fussed around her trying to dry her.Her mobile rang and she got into her room and closed it from behind.
Friday, February 17, 2006
wow.. grt feelin, got my blog back..
4 some time i believed that my blog got deleted.. now its back n i cant feel more happy.. not much activity in my life, books, music, movies , project..
was trying 2 read hp, 2 know wt was so fascinating.. long back had read da first book n had stopped half way.. read da 2nd n 3rd.. scond was good, but third was jus ok...amazing imagination..
read tis book one night @ da call center.. it touched me so much. i am just the priyanka in da book except for three diferences,1. i dont work in a call center
2. i dont drink
3. i dont have a boy friend..
it is like v v true.. its true all girls love der mom, but the continous scolding makes us doubt ourself and v start asking our close friends if v really are tat bad.. in that situation v come accross a guy who flatters us beyond limits, its true we find it hard 2 resist..hmm.. da book made me think abt DA DARK SIDE OF ME..all da bad things tat ve happened to me..n all.. i could relate many things.. esp, priyanka is just me.. how my feelings were beautifully expressed made me close to tears at a point..
but i could not find much difference between five point someone and this..hari is just like sham , shallow guy, doesn think much, thinks he is a looser, loves and adores his girl friend ...
priyanka is diff from neha, but both r gutsy emotional girls....
but a book which held me in rapt attention 4 4 hrs,, read it continously after a long time.. da book has a beautiful msg 2 convey too...
our mind is an ocean, it can think too many things,, and i feel its possible 2 write a book on wt goes in my mind 4 an hr,, one night s jus like that,, da entire book is about wt all happens 2 6 ppl in a night..
but i feel its a v discouraging book,, it makes us think abt dark sides..but to be a best seller, a book has to focus on dark side.. tat s wat i observed among all books i ve read..
was trying 2 read hp, 2 know wt was so fascinating.. long back had read da first book n had stopped half way.. read da 2nd n 3rd.. scond was good, but third was jus ok...amazing imagination..
read tis book one night @ da call center.. it touched me so much. i am just the priyanka in da book except for three diferences,1. i dont work in a call center
2. i dont drink
3. i dont have a boy friend..
it is like v v true.. its true all girls love der mom, but the continous scolding makes us doubt ourself and v start asking our close friends if v really are tat bad.. in that situation v come accross a guy who flatters us beyond limits, its true we find it hard 2 resist..hmm.. da book made me think abt DA DARK SIDE OF ME..all da bad things tat ve happened to me..n all.. i could relate many things.. esp, priyanka is just me.. how my feelings were beautifully expressed made me close to tears at a point..
but i could not find much difference between five point someone and this..hari is just like sham , shallow guy, doesn think much, thinks he is a looser, loves and adores his girl friend ...
priyanka is diff from neha, but both r gutsy emotional girls....
but a book which held me in rapt attention 4 4 hrs,, read it continously after a long time.. da book has a beautiful msg 2 convey too...
our mind is an ocean, it can think too many things,, and i feel its possible 2 write a book on wt goes in my mind 4 an hr,, one night s jus like that,, da entire book is about wt all happens 2 6 ppl in a night..
but i feel its a v discouraging book,, it makes us think abt dark sides..but to be a best seller, a book has to focus on dark side.. tat s wat i observed among all books i ve read..
Saturday, February 04, 2006
my first ever real short story
warning : all the characters in this story are fictitious and any resemblance to a character living or dead is purely coincidential
My first ever original short story
Fleeting realities
Saravathy is all that anyone can imagine. There is not an adjective, which does not describe her. In a sentence she may be described as “good and bad”. Of course all of us are different at many different points and situations in life. But among people I have seen, I have seen all kinds of extreme behavior in her. She herself cannot figure out why she is like that; maybe I will use the word “impulsive” to describe her.
She woke up with a start when the alarm bell rang.”Oh my gosh” late again? It took her a minute to realize it was a Sunday. She fell back on the bed. She had a beautiful dream. There were green trees all around. It was a hilltop, where they all (her friends, mom, dad and her sister) were standing. There was a stage in the middle of the beautiful place, with a river flowing aside. She received a standing ovation; she did not know for what, she did not want to know also. She was enjoying the scene. Her mom and dad were standing as proud parents. Suddenly the scene changed, she was standing in the bus stop, and bored to go to college. She heard her mom calling out; she realized it was a dream. She saw the time, 9 o clock. She was happy that she had slept long enough. She got up to see her mother. Again she got reminded of the kangaroo. Saravathy had this weird habit of relating every human being she met to an animal.
Mom: kangaroo. She was so perfect as a mother. Caring, protective.
Dad: tiger.aggressive, majestic.
Sis: peacock, beautiful and attracting attention all the time.
She could never think of any animal to relate to her.
Her electronics professor, Mrs. jersey was the perfect monkey she had ever seen.
Her class representative manoj was the perfect elephant.
She had her coffee and dosas. They tasted extra delicious on Sundays. Her mobile rang suddenly. Her mom shouted” why don’t you switch off your mobile at least when you eat. All the time you are with it.”
She saw the number. It was Namratha.they weren’t good friends, infact she had had a couple of fights with her. Well! Don’t take about fights with Sara. She can even fight with the most peace loving person.
“Hi, nammy. Tell me, whats up?”
“Hi Sara. I have great news for you.”
“Really? Tell me.”
“The presentation you had submitted to our HOD, about the “power of minority carriers”, remember? He rejected it?”
Now, why the hell is she reminding me of those things? Sara thought.
“I remember. Tell Me,” she said bitterly.
“Hod had sent it to Switzerland for a worldwide electronics presentation competition. Would you believe yours was selected for it?”
“What?” said Sara? She immediately looked at the calendar to check if it was April 1. It was not. Then she thought that Namrita was playing a joke on her. That stupid idiotic ass, she thought.
But namrita did not hate her that much. Otherwise why would she tell such great news to her?
“Oh. How nice of HOD. I just cant believe he has done this.” Sara was happy, as hell. She could not believe what was happening to her.
“He just met me on my way to the market this morning. I hope you know he lives near my house. He was asking for your phone number. You know right I always forget my mobile; I did not have it with me that time. So I told him I would ask you to call him.”
Sara was too excited. “ Ok nammy, thanks a lot. Can I talk to you later? I want to call him and ask further details”
“Sure Sara, good luck. “
Sara immediately went inside and got her diary and dialed HOD ‘s number.
“Hello”, it was a familiar voice. HOD was speaking. Anyways she did not want to take risk. Last time mistakenly she had talked to his brother thinking it was him.
“ Could I speak to Dr.Rangachar please?”
“Speaking.”
“Sir, this is Saravathy here. Namratha just spoke to me. It seems my project has been selected.”
“ Yes, saravathy. Congratulations. Your flight ticket has also been sent. I had known your passport number and all. But I was not sure if your project would get selected. Thought, why not give it a try. But your hard work has seemed to bring result. Good luck.”
“Thank you sir. So nice of you.”
“ You will have to leave tomorrow morning. So get prepared.”
“ Sure sir, I will come to your house in some time.”
Sara kept the phone and got up very excited. She had to take deep breaths in between to go on with her narration to mom and dad. They were very happy too. They knew how much this meant for her.
She met the HOD and came back and started packing in full swing. She had to decide on her dress, her look, the files and all, which she should carry. The books she had referred, the websites, which she had read through before creating her project. She had to create another abstract because the application form demanded an abstract, which was so different than that the one she had prepared. She was full of activity, not a sign of tiredness.
She did not realize how soon it became night.. She was going to travel all alone so long and she was going to see Switzerland. She would make sure to have a great tour of that place. She also wanted to see France. She hoped at least to see the borders.
The scene shifted to the airport. All sad to part with Sara, yet proud and happy.
Suddenly she heard” Sara, Sara. Get up. Its ten o clock.”
Sara got up. Oh my god. Another dream? Cha.. She had slept off after 9 o clock again and the entire thing was just a dream.
She could not digest it. Why god? What was wrong with my project? The entire of Sunday passed in a gloom for Sara. “ Why does it always happen to me, god?” She kept on asking herself.
The next day, Sara got up and went to college. She really had no mood to go. After all could dream have so much impact on us? Why should we have dreams? And that too dreams, which I am sure, will never happen for real. Sara could not digest the thought that they had HOD ‘S hour that day. She just did not want to see him again.
She got down from the bus and closed the harry potter book she had been reading in the bus for the nth time without a little of concentration and started walking towards class.
“Saravathy!” some similar voice called out. It was HOD. Shit! She thought. Not early in the morning. Sure it would be about the test. Damn! Why did I not study? He is gonna ask me to re write the test. She thought
“ Good morning, sir”
“The paper you had done about minority carriers, I had a close look” when the hell is he going to stop criticizing my work? She thought.
“I had a close look. Not bad. Showed it to my brother in US. He has sent it over for the conference in Switzerland”. What? Am I dreaming again? Oh god. Not again…
“Sir”, she said. Not sure of what to say next.
“The seminar is scheduled for next week. So give me your phone number. And yes, also your passport number.”Sara wanted to pinch herself now. Is this what Kabir das was talking in his poem? Sukh ke bhad dhuk aur dukh ke bhad sukh? She gave him all the details he wanted and thanked him.
She entered the microwave class all excited, five minutes late. Susila was staring at her, laughing that she was late again.Mrs.Mekala was very kind to let the latecomer in.
Sara was all excited and narrated everything starting from the dream. They both had a giggle.
“Sara, what is going on? You come late and still disturb others? Listen to the class.”
“Sorry ma’am.”
She said and got back to the boring classes. Indeed it confirmed kabir das poem.
My first ever original short story
Fleeting realities
Saravathy is all that anyone can imagine. There is not an adjective, which does not describe her. In a sentence she may be described as “good and bad”. Of course all of us are different at many different points and situations in life. But among people I have seen, I have seen all kinds of extreme behavior in her. She herself cannot figure out why she is like that; maybe I will use the word “impulsive” to describe her.
She woke up with a start when the alarm bell rang.”Oh my gosh” late again? It took her a minute to realize it was a Sunday. She fell back on the bed. She had a beautiful dream. There were green trees all around. It was a hilltop, where they all (her friends, mom, dad and her sister) were standing. There was a stage in the middle of the beautiful place, with a river flowing aside. She received a standing ovation; she did not know for what, she did not want to know also. She was enjoying the scene. Her mom and dad were standing as proud parents. Suddenly the scene changed, she was standing in the bus stop, and bored to go to college. She heard her mom calling out; she realized it was a dream. She saw the time, 9 o clock. She was happy that she had slept long enough. She got up to see her mother. Again she got reminded of the kangaroo. Saravathy had this weird habit of relating every human being she met to an animal.
Mom: kangaroo. She was so perfect as a mother. Caring, protective.
Dad: tiger.aggressive, majestic.
Sis: peacock, beautiful and attracting attention all the time.
She could never think of any animal to relate to her.
Her electronics professor, Mrs. jersey was the perfect monkey she had ever seen.
Her class representative manoj was the perfect elephant.
She had her coffee and dosas. They tasted extra delicious on Sundays. Her mobile rang suddenly. Her mom shouted” why don’t you switch off your mobile at least when you eat. All the time you are with it.”
She saw the number. It was Namratha.they weren’t good friends, infact she had had a couple of fights with her. Well! Don’t take about fights with Sara. She can even fight with the most peace loving person.
“Hi, nammy. Tell me, whats up?”
“Hi Sara. I have great news for you.”
“Really? Tell me.”
“The presentation you had submitted to our HOD, about the “power of minority carriers”, remember? He rejected it?”
Now, why the hell is she reminding me of those things? Sara thought.
“I remember. Tell Me,” she said bitterly.
“Hod had sent it to Switzerland for a worldwide electronics presentation competition. Would you believe yours was selected for it?”
“What?” said Sara? She immediately looked at the calendar to check if it was April 1. It was not. Then she thought that Namrita was playing a joke on her. That stupid idiotic ass, she thought.
But namrita did not hate her that much. Otherwise why would she tell such great news to her?
“Oh. How nice of HOD. I just cant believe he has done this.” Sara was happy, as hell. She could not believe what was happening to her.
“He just met me on my way to the market this morning. I hope you know he lives near my house. He was asking for your phone number. You know right I always forget my mobile; I did not have it with me that time. So I told him I would ask you to call him.”
Sara was too excited. “ Ok nammy, thanks a lot. Can I talk to you later? I want to call him and ask further details”
“Sure Sara, good luck. “
Sara immediately went inside and got her diary and dialed HOD ‘s number.
“Hello”, it was a familiar voice. HOD was speaking. Anyways she did not want to take risk. Last time mistakenly she had talked to his brother thinking it was him.
“ Could I speak to Dr.Rangachar please?”
“Speaking.”
“Sir, this is Saravathy here. Namratha just spoke to me. It seems my project has been selected.”
“ Yes, saravathy. Congratulations. Your flight ticket has also been sent. I had known your passport number and all. But I was not sure if your project would get selected. Thought, why not give it a try. But your hard work has seemed to bring result. Good luck.”
“Thank you sir. So nice of you.”
“ You will have to leave tomorrow morning. So get prepared.”
“ Sure sir, I will come to your house in some time.”
Sara kept the phone and got up very excited. She had to take deep breaths in between to go on with her narration to mom and dad. They were very happy too. They knew how much this meant for her.
She met the HOD and came back and started packing in full swing. She had to decide on her dress, her look, the files and all, which she should carry. The books she had referred, the websites, which she had read through before creating her project. She had to create another abstract because the application form demanded an abstract, which was so different than that the one she had prepared. She was full of activity, not a sign of tiredness.
She did not realize how soon it became night.. She was going to travel all alone so long and she was going to see Switzerland. She would make sure to have a great tour of that place. She also wanted to see France. She hoped at least to see the borders.
The scene shifted to the airport. All sad to part with Sara, yet proud and happy.
Suddenly she heard” Sara, Sara. Get up. Its ten o clock.”
Sara got up. Oh my god. Another dream? Cha.. She had slept off after 9 o clock again and the entire thing was just a dream.
She could not digest it. Why god? What was wrong with my project? The entire of Sunday passed in a gloom for Sara. “ Why does it always happen to me, god?” She kept on asking herself.
The next day, Sara got up and went to college. She really had no mood to go. After all could dream have so much impact on us? Why should we have dreams? And that too dreams, which I am sure, will never happen for real. Sara could not digest the thought that they had HOD ‘S hour that day. She just did not want to see him again.
She got down from the bus and closed the harry potter book she had been reading in the bus for the nth time without a little of concentration and started walking towards class.
“Saravathy!” some similar voice called out. It was HOD. Shit! She thought. Not early in the morning. Sure it would be about the test. Damn! Why did I not study? He is gonna ask me to re write the test. She thought
“ Good morning, sir”
“The paper you had done about minority carriers, I had a close look” when the hell is he going to stop criticizing my work? She thought.
“I had a close look. Not bad. Showed it to my brother in US. He has sent it over for the conference in Switzerland”. What? Am I dreaming again? Oh god. Not again…
“Sir”, she said. Not sure of what to say next.
“The seminar is scheduled for next week. So give me your phone number. And yes, also your passport number.”Sara wanted to pinch herself now. Is this what Kabir das was talking in his poem? Sukh ke bhad dhuk aur dukh ke bhad sukh? She gave him all the details he wanted and thanked him.
She entered the microwave class all excited, five minutes late. Susila was staring at her, laughing that she was late again.Mrs.Mekala was very kind to let the latecomer in.
Sara was all excited and narrated everything starting from the dream. They both had a giggle.
“Sara, what is going on? You come late and still disturb others? Listen to the class.”
“Sorry ma’am.”
She said and got back to the boring classes. Indeed it confirmed kabir das poem.
FALSE IMPRESSION - JEFFREY ARCHER..
hmmmmm.. not the usual archer book.. but a story very well told.. i would call it a thriller, but the culprit is known right at the beginning.. how anna tries to prove is told in a real fascinating way...
anna, an expert in paintings working in fenston banks is fired on 9/11 just before the twin tower episode. the reason being she did not aid the bank in taking the wentworh hall paintings whose value is about some million dollars..
the characters are very well intervowen.. anna is the lead, then there is jack, the FBI agent, fenston, the bank owner, leapman, his friend and the most dangerous krantz, the series killer....
its a book written with a lot of hard work.. if you are interested in painings, especailly van gough et all, it would prove very valuable to you..
the story also deals a lot with the 9/11 episode , the kind of impact it had on the new yorkers...the story starts in new york, then goes to bucharest, london, tokyo.. as the van gough's self portrait with the bangaded ears travels along with its "FALSE IMPRESSION"..
the meaning of the title literally means a false van gough being painted to dupe fenston... nice ideas..
but not a match to "not a penny more, not a penny less", or"kane and abel".. and of course not a bit nearer to " prodigal daughter".. but the essebntial part missing here is the knd of motivation i usually get when i read his books..
one thing i dont like about jeff is the way he ends his books.. everytime they look very abrupt to me.. but of course , a book every archer fan must read,...
one word to describe it...GRIPPING..
anna, an expert in paintings working in fenston banks is fired on 9/11 just before the twin tower episode. the reason being she did not aid the bank in taking the wentworh hall paintings whose value is about some million dollars..
the characters are very well intervowen.. anna is the lead, then there is jack, the FBI agent, fenston, the bank owner, leapman, his friend and the most dangerous krantz, the series killer....
its a book written with a lot of hard work.. if you are interested in painings, especailly van gough et all, it would prove very valuable to you..
the story also deals a lot with the 9/11 episode , the kind of impact it had on the new yorkers...the story starts in new york, then goes to bucharest, london, tokyo.. as the van gough's self portrait with the bangaded ears travels along with its "FALSE IMPRESSION"..
the meaning of the title literally means a false van gough being painted to dupe fenston... nice ideas..
but not a match to "not a penny more, not a penny less", or"kane and abel".. and of course not a bit nearer to " prodigal daughter".. but the essebntial part missing here is the knd of motivation i usually get when i read his books..
one thing i dont like about jeff is the way he ends his books.. everytime they look very abrupt to me.. but of course , a book every archer fan must read,...
one word to describe it...GRIPPING..
RANG DE BASANTHI
in one word.. it was a nice movie.makes u feel like watching once more.. but i felt deep inside something was missing.. there was no clarity.. wat does the director intend to tell?? that freedom fighters struggled haerd to get us independance and that we have not utilized it properly? or does he say we are yet to get our independance?
if he was trying to say that youngsters should take politics in their hands? then why the entire alicia patterson episode? is it just for the brief romance between amir and alicia?god knows...
and why do they all have to get killed in the end? and why do all people say its a serious issue and somethin has to be done? by why dont they tell how to do, what to do? there are so many youngsters who want to do somethin for their country, that includes sara too.. but like sara all people are clueless what to do, how to do? that way the movie was way ahead of constructive ideas...
but there are few things i liked in the movie very much
1. OF COURSE.. A.R.REHMAN...
SUCH AN AMAZING MUSIC... the background is amazing.. i felt very bad that roobaro n paathshala were not fully picturized , two beautiful songs not to go waste..
2. the patriotic feelin it instills
3.AMIR...
OF COURSE,HE is fabulous.. every thing he does is so real..u will admire DJ in the movie and though all have equal roles .. it is this guy who steals your heart.. he is sweet, charming and sensitive.. it was as if he was playing himself...
some scenes i have to mention where i adored him..the scene where he is drunk and tells su how much he is afraid of his life ahead of him... and the scne whre he cries to su that he felt really bad on the death of madhavan.. and the initial meeting scenes with alicia... amazing it was...and the final scene whre he says to siddharth that he is worried about his children,..
4. the ending where all dont put on an act of sacrifice and rather die laughing.. it will touch everybody's heart i am sure...
the things i din like in the movie
1.madhavan
2.romance between soha ali and madhavan... totally unwanted , waste of time..
3.he wastes time till interval not entering into the story.. though its fun...
4. no clarity in what he wants to convey,, no relation between first half and second part,,
5. THE UNPICTURIZED SONG,,it was a big disappointment that roobaro was not picturized.
6. so much of punjabi and urdu..:-(.. i could not understand few dialogues...
finally i wd say THE MOVIE IS HIGHLY ENTERTAINING AND WORTH WATCHING..
if he was trying to say that youngsters should take politics in their hands? then why the entire alicia patterson episode? is it just for the brief romance between amir and alicia?god knows...
and why do they all have to get killed in the end? and why do all people say its a serious issue and somethin has to be done? by why dont they tell how to do, what to do? there are so many youngsters who want to do somethin for their country, that includes sara too.. but like sara all people are clueless what to do, how to do? that way the movie was way ahead of constructive ideas...
but there are few things i liked in the movie very much
1. OF COURSE.. A.R.REHMAN...
SUCH AN AMAZING MUSIC... the background is amazing.. i felt very bad that roobaro n paathshala were not fully picturized , two beautiful songs not to go waste..
2. the patriotic feelin it instills
3.AMIR...
OF COURSE,HE is fabulous.. every thing he does is so real..u will admire DJ in the movie and though all have equal roles .. it is this guy who steals your heart.. he is sweet, charming and sensitive.. it was as if he was playing himself...
some scenes i have to mention where i adored him..the scene where he is drunk and tells su how much he is afraid of his life ahead of him... and the scne whre he cries to su that he felt really bad on the death of madhavan.. and the initial meeting scenes with alicia... amazing it was...and the final scene whre he says to siddharth that he is worried about his children,..
4. the ending where all dont put on an act of sacrifice and rather die laughing.. it will touch everybody's heart i am sure...
the things i din like in the movie
1.madhavan
2.romance between soha ali and madhavan... totally unwanted , waste of time..
3.he wastes time till interval not entering into the story.. though its fun...
4. no clarity in what he wants to convey,, no relation between first half and second part,,
5. THE UNPICTURIZED SONG,,it was a big disappointment that roobaro was not picturized.
6. so much of punjabi and urdu..:-(.. i could not understand few dialogues...
finally i wd say THE MOVIE IS HIGHLY ENTERTAINING AND WORTH WATCHING..
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
random
wanted to blog for a really long time.. i put up one big post.but my stupid comp got hanged,...
i m now very much encouraged to blog.. i m actually an inspiration for many ppl to start their
own blogs and someto update it regularly..
but seriously these days i am working on my poems,
short stories and novel more than ever,, i have been readin lots recently.. right now i am
reading first impression by jefferey archer.. seems to be a pretty nice book.. i have written
poems, not great ones.. da usual ones only, but again lack of time and resources i am not able
to post them.. the blog is the space where i planned to have all my poems together. cos i write
them in papers here and there, back of my text books and all.. so wats the way out to have them
comprehensively? blog is the only answer..
guess wat? i am right now typing in note pad, cant
imagine.. never done it all life.. but now i am scared i would loose tis post too... but i am
kinda having fun in my literary world.. but the result.. my project for a toss.. i wd say my
project is also interestin, not as interestin as novels and my writings.. now a poem, before i
loose that paper..
scene of rain
colourful umbrellas opened
the thunderstorm sounded like a loud laughter
it seemed to me wind was dancing
overjoyed by the company of waterdroplets
the flowers found a beautiful blanket
so, beautiful
i could just dream of such a beauty
hazel clear blanket made of water droplets
the rain seemed to be purifying the world
glorifyingly washing the stained buildings
which had accumalated dust over the years
making the streets look fresh
and labelling its presence with the rainbow...
i m now very much encouraged to blog.. i m actually an inspiration for many ppl to start their
own blogs and someto update it regularly..
but seriously these days i am working on my poems,
short stories and novel more than ever,, i have been readin lots recently.. right now i am
reading first impression by jefferey archer.. seems to be a pretty nice book.. i have written
poems, not great ones.. da usual ones only, but again lack of time and resources i am not able
to post them.. the blog is the space where i planned to have all my poems together. cos i write
them in papers here and there, back of my text books and all.. so wats the way out to have them
comprehensively? blog is the only answer..
guess wat? i am right now typing in note pad, cant
imagine.. never done it all life.. but now i am scared i would loose tis post too... but i am
kinda having fun in my literary world.. but the result.. my project for a toss.. i wd say my
project is also interestin, not as interestin as novels and my writings.. now a poem, before i
loose that paper..
scene of rain
colourful umbrellas opened
the thunderstorm sounded like a loud laughter
it seemed to me wind was dancing
overjoyed by the company of waterdroplets
the flowers found a beautiful blanket
so, beautiful
i could just dream of such a beauty
hazel clear blanket made of water droplets
the rain seemed to be purifying the world
glorifyingly washing the stained buildings
which had accumalated dust over the years
making the streets look fresh
and labelling its presence with the rainbow...
Thursday, January 26, 2006
i love it
I love the way you look
The way you smell
When you are there with me,
Why do I need to worry?
You can get me all that I need in life
Think all my existence
My thinking
My hard work
Is ultimately to own you
Wow, the green color u possess
Makes me go crazy
I worship you
I adore you
I love you
Money
You are one of the things I want in life
Through you
I feel power
The way you smell
When you are there with me,
Why do I need to worry?
You can get me all that I need in life
Think all my existence
My thinking
My hard work
Is ultimately to own you
Wow, the green color u possess
Makes me go crazy
I worship you
I adore you
I love you
Money
You are one of the things I want in life
Through you
I feel power
Friday, January 20, 2006
poornima, illusion of reality... part 2
After shakthi and I dressed up, she said we were going to karthik’s place to attend a function. I was awestruck. "Anyways, let me go, I have nothing to loose". I thought.
The house was magnificently large. The house was jam-packed, mostly of old aunties, and karthik was standing near a room with his friends. he was admiring shakthi.
I saw shakthi admiring him too. We sang, the thing we usually did when we went to any function. I suddenly found everyone was noticing shakthi. Karthik would have told them, I thought. That day as we were going back, karthik joined us.He proposed to shakthi, this time seriously.. i thought.
In spite of all the fuss, shakthi created, eventually she agreed.
I thought that was when all the fun started. I was all excited when she said karthik’s mom n dad were coming the next day.
During one of our conversations at home,with mom and dad, I brought about the topic of our marriage and told mom and dad about shakthi’s relationship. When I started the topic I could see the color drain from shakthi’s face. She was scolded very badly that day. I did not feel guilty; I did have to tell them about it.
The day they came, man it was very horrible. If both our parents would have agreed to the proposal all the things would have got over by then. But things weren’t tat simple, were they? It ended as a big dispute. I found karthik’s father very straightforward. Only thing was he did not know to talk properly. He was brutally frank.
The next day shakthi told me she had broken off with karthik. Then she went off for her medical camp, which was in kerala for a week. When she came back, she announced she was going to get register married with karthik. I was shocked, not just shocked petrified. That day all night she explained how madly she was in love with karthik . she said she found no other way out. If they married her off to vivek that would be the end of her life. She spoke of how a great guy karthik was and how much both of them were in love with each other. I listened with patience and wondering what happened to this little girls ego? Think all loose it once they are in love. I have lost it too, but that was on a crush. I can never get serious on relationship and I don’t force things on me. That’s the reason I think I have never fallen in love till date. To love it requires some large force, which pushes you into it, rather than u fall into it yourself.
Next day was my little sister’s marriage. Never did I imagine she would get married before me. I did not even realize, how big a hurdle this was going to be for my marriage. What I was excited was about shakthi’s marriage. I felt very adventurous; we were doing something without our parents consent, without their knowledge. That day I found shakthi really very beautiful .she was immensely happy and so was karthik. Suddenly I also got the desire to get married.
To belong to someone and be loved.
Then we boarded our bus and laughed all our way throughout. That was the last day I was absolutely happy.
If all of you are wondering who I am,? Of course you would have figured it out from my story.
But most of you, missed to notice a lot about me in my movie “alaipayuthey”. Yes, I am shakthi s sister poornima. I was all alive all this while. I required only influencing Sara to write about me. And she just did. What she did rather was just copy from my diary. The interesting parts of my lives . i knew i lived in Sara’s mind a little while more then the rest of the people who watched the movie, mainly because she was the elder sis like me. I also knew she could manage writing. So I chose her to let you all know what I thought when my little sis was having fun and getting tortured at the same time.
That is what they call love, sweet torture.. Aint it?
this was the story of poornima, not a real character.
just an illusion, but the impact is real. thats y i call her , the illusion of reality...
few words from the diary of poornima,
daughter of a railway employee
sister of shakthi in alaipayuthey...
The house was magnificently large. The house was jam-packed, mostly of old aunties, and karthik was standing near a room with his friends. he was admiring shakthi.
I saw shakthi admiring him too. We sang, the thing we usually did when we went to any function. I suddenly found everyone was noticing shakthi. Karthik would have told them, I thought. That day as we were going back, karthik joined us.He proposed to shakthi, this time seriously.. i thought.
In spite of all the fuss, shakthi created, eventually she agreed.
I thought that was when all the fun started. I was all excited when she said karthik’s mom n dad were coming the next day.
During one of our conversations at home,with mom and dad, I brought about the topic of our marriage and told mom and dad about shakthi’s relationship. When I started the topic I could see the color drain from shakthi’s face. She was scolded very badly that day. I did not feel guilty; I did have to tell them about it.
The day they came, man it was very horrible. If both our parents would have agreed to the proposal all the things would have got over by then. But things weren’t tat simple, were they? It ended as a big dispute. I found karthik’s father very straightforward. Only thing was he did not know to talk properly. He was brutally frank.
The next day shakthi told me she had broken off with karthik. Then she went off for her medical camp, which was in kerala for a week. When she came back, she announced she was going to get register married with karthik. I was shocked, not just shocked petrified. That day all night she explained how madly she was in love with karthik . she said she found no other way out. If they married her off to vivek that would be the end of her life. She spoke of how a great guy karthik was and how much both of them were in love with each other. I listened with patience and wondering what happened to this little girls ego? Think all loose it once they are in love. I have lost it too, but that was on a crush. I can never get serious on relationship and I don’t force things on me. That’s the reason I think I have never fallen in love till date. To love it requires some large force, which pushes you into it, rather than u fall into it yourself.
Next day was my little sister’s marriage. Never did I imagine she would get married before me. I did not even realize, how big a hurdle this was going to be for my marriage. What I was excited was about shakthi’s marriage. I felt very adventurous; we were doing something without our parents consent, without their knowledge. That day I found shakthi really very beautiful .she was immensely happy and so was karthik. Suddenly I also got the desire to get married.
To belong to someone and be loved.
Then we boarded our bus and laughed all our way throughout. That was the last day I was absolutely happy.
If all of you are wondering who I am,? Of course you would have figured it out from my story.
But most of you, missed to notice a lot about me in my movie “alaipayuthey”. Yes, I am shakthi s sister poornima. I was all alive all this while. I required only influencing Sara to write about me. And she just did. What she did rather was just copy from my diary. The interesting parts of my lives . i knew i lived in Sara’s mind a little while more then the rest of the people who watched the movie, mainly because she was the elder sis like me. I also knew she could manage writing. So I chose her to let you all know what I thought when my little sis was having fun and getting tortured at the same time.
That is what they call love, sweet torture.. Aint it?
this was the story of poornima, not a real character.
just an illusion, but the impact is real. thats y i call her , the illusion of reality...
few words from the diary of poornima,
daughter of a railway employee
sister of shakthi in alaipayuthey...
Thursday, January 19, 2006
my first short story, part 1.
MY FIRST EVER SHORT STORY
POORNIMA – ILLUSION OF REALITY
part 1
I was happy with the life I was living. I had amazing parents and a good loving sister. My dad worked in southern railways, my mom a housewife. I belong to the normal middle class household, who live a normal life yet has dreams deeper than the ocean.
I was the only kid in my home, till about three years of my age, after which my sis shakthi came into my life. Though she reduced the attention I got from my parents b I loved her, adored her. She was talkative, intelligent, witty, sometimes sarcastic, but always happy. Doing things she wanted to do. Never did she care about our parents that much, though it did not seem evident. But one day, it did seem clear to me that she was very selfish.
I don’t remember when it all started. I have a vague remembrance of poongodi s marriage in the village of nemmeli; a few kilometers from thanjavur.we had great fun. I had dressed poongodi up,i was very good at these things. and me n shakthi had a great time there.
There I noticed a guy in yellow shirt. I was wondering which category of guys he would fit into?
Oh, I did forget to tell u guys about how I categorized guys. I put any guy under 1 category of the four I had devised.
Category 1:
FLIRTS.
They always did what they wanted to do. No matter how it hurt the other person. Yet they always have this urge of keeping people around them happy. They don’t realize they want to keep themselves happy. Hypocrictic, because they cant be straight forward.
Category 2
Goodies
I realized karthik (the yellow shirt) belonged to this category. He liked to do what he wanted; yet he was sensitive, loving and caring.
Impatient, restless and charming, any girls dream.
Category 3
Introverts.
The life of these guys are books and machines. They love girls, yet cant accept. They criticize girls n pretend to ignore them. But they can get mad about some girl, that they would do anything for them.
Category 4
Passive
These people have no great ambitions or hope. They just live life, accepting what ever comes their way. They don’t strive for any of their desires; jus follow the path life leads them. And the first girl who proposes to them gets lucky! Rather say, unlucky?
I loved the sound of trains outside my house. Every morning the train sound woke us up. Most of our lives were spent in this train sound. We lived in tambaram, so shakthi and me had to take a train. She studied in madras medical college, one of the prestigious medical colleges in chennai. I worked in a bank. I helped in paying her college fees, which was rather a ransom amount.
I saw karthik again; he was in a train in the opposite track. Before I could open the topic about him. Shakthi started to speak about him. I came to know they had a brief encounter in the marriage of poongodi. She said he was a very arrogant guy, I did not feel so. I knew she was lying. Shakthi was very bad at it. I realized she was in love. Wow, is love this lovely? It made shakthi an altogether different person. She was even more fun to be with, but now her talks were more about karthik, though denying the fact she liked him.
I still can’t forget the day where he proposed virtually to her. Trying to indirectly imply the fact how madly he was in love with her, he looked funny. I could see the excitement in her face when he pronounced her name. How shakthi? How could u ever hide it from me that u were madly in love with karthik?
It was the month of October, but it still seemed to be cold. I loved the climate when I woke up. But now shakthi urged me to get ready n wear a saree. She was also begging me n asking if she could wear the violet saree of mine. Man, I sure am magnanimous. I loved that saree, and never on any occasion have I lent it to anyone. But how could I deny my sweet sis, I had been with her since young age and knew from the way she was pleading how badly she needed it. But why in hell should she wear saree, I wondered? Anyways I loved wearing saree. So I chose my next best favorite, pink one. I had dressed up myself. I thought I looked better than shakthi on all aspects. I was taller, fairer, had a better figure.
But my inner self was more interesting than my exterior. I was funny and intelligent. I was soft and playful. My parent loved me since I always put on an act as if I was very responsible and all. But from within I was always doing what I wanted to.
I was never against the concept of love like shakthi; I was not desperate to fall in love too. But there were some around 5 guys who proposed to me, but none interested me. People I was interested in were not interested in me. Anyways, I have always felt I never came across anybody who impressed me so much.
I liked karthik, and thought he was in all ways the best match for my sis. I always encouraged her to love karthik, by constantly reminding how vivek would marry shakthi n how miserable her life might become.
Oh, I forgot to tell u guys about vivek, he is our cousin. He adores shakthi like crazy. He couldn’t speak properly, a stammerer. But the worst part was our aunt. When she came home, she never stopped talking, constantly giving me a headache where she went. My face muscles also ached because I had to put on that constant smile on my face.
POORNIMA – ILLUSION OF REALITY
part 1
I was happy with the life I was living. I had amazing parents and a good loving sister. My dad worked in southern railways, my mom a housewife. I belong to the normal middle class household, who live a normal life yet has dreams deeper than the ocean.
I was the only kid in my home, till about three years of my age, after which my sis shakthi came into my life. Though she reduced the attention I got from my parents b I loved her, adored her. She was talkative, intelligent, witty, sometimes sarcastic, but always happy. Doing things she wanted to do. Never did she care about our parents that much, though it did not seem evident. But one day, it did seem clear to me that she was very selfish.
I don’t remember when it all started. I have a vague remembrance of poongodi s marriage in the village of nemmeli; a few kilometers from thanjavur.we had great fun. I had dressed poongodi up,i was very good at these things. and me n shakthi had a great time there.
There I noticed a guy in yellow shirt. I was wondering which category of guys he would fit into?
Oh, I did forget to tell u guys about how I categorized guys. I put any guy under 1 category of the four I had devised.
Category 1:
FLIRTS.
They always did what they wanted to do. No matter how it hurt the other person. Yet they always have this urge of keeping people around them happy. They don’t realize they want to keep themselves happy. Hypocrictic, because they cant be straight forward.
Category 2
Goodies
I realized karthik (the yellow shirt) belonged to this category. He liked to do what he wanted; yet he was sensitive, loving and caring.
Impatient, restless and charming, any girls dream.
Category 3
Introverts.
The life of these guys are books and machines. They love girls, yet cant accept. They criticize girls n pretend to ignore them. But they can get mad about some girl, that they would do anything for them.
Category 4
Passive
These people have no great ambitions or hope. They just live life, accepting what ever comes their way. They don’t strive for any of their desires; jus follow the path life leads them. And the first girl who proposes to them gets lucky! Rather say, unlucky?
I loved the sound of trains outside my house. Every morning the train sound woke us up. Most of our lives were spent in this train sound. We lived in tambaram, so shakthi and me had to take a train. She studied in madras medical college, one of the prestigious medical colleges in chennai. I worked in a bank. I helped in paying her college fees, which was rather a ransom amount.
I saw karthik again; he was in a train in the opposite track. Before I could open the topic about him. Shakthi started to speak about him. I came to know they had a brief encounter in the marriage of poongodi. She said he was a very arrogant guy, I did not feel so. I knew she was lying. Shakthi was very bad at it. I realized she was in love. Wow, is love this lovely? It made shakthi an altogether different person. She was even more fun to be with, but now her talks were more about karthik, though denying the fact she liked him.
I still can’t forget the day where he proposed virtually to her. Trying to indirectly imply the fact how madly he was in love with her, he looked funny. I could see the excitement in her face when he pronounced her name. How shakthi? How could u ever hide it from me that u were madly in love with karthik?
It was the month of October, but it still seemed to be cold. I loved the climate when I woke up. But now shakthi urged me to get ready n wear a saree. She was also begging me n asking if she could wear the violet saree of mine. Man, I sure am magnanimous. I loved that saree, and never on any occasion have I lent it to anyone. But how could I deny my sweet sis, I had been with her since young age and knew from the way she was pleading how badly she needed it. But why in hell should she wear saree, I wondered? Anyways I loved wearing saree. So I chose my next best favorite, pink one. I had dressed up myself. I thought I looked better than shakthi on all aspects. I was taller, fairer, had a better figure.
But my inner self was more interesting than my exterior. I was funny and intelligent. I was soft and playful. My parent loved me since I always put on an act as if I was very responsible and all. But from within I was always doing what I wanted to.
I was never against the concept of love like shakthi; I was not desperate to fall in love too. But there were some around 5 guys who proposed to me, but none interested me. People I was interested in were not interested in me. Anyways, I have always felt I never came across anybody who impressed me so much.
I liked karthik, and thought he was in all ways the best match for my sis. I always encouraged her to love karthik, by constantly reminding how vivek would marry shakthi n how miserable her life might become.
Oh, I forgot to tell u guys about vivek, he is our cousin. He adores shakthi like crazy. He couldn’t speak properly, a stammerer. But the worst part was our aunt. When she came home, she never stopped talking, constantly giving me a headache where she went. My face muscles also ached because I had to put on that constant smile on my face.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
five point someone?
i read tis book by chetan bhagat..
amazing book.. so simple n v touching.. it clearly proves wat i always belived in life..
at any point in yr life, there s nothin where u cant change anythin.. or plainly there s no dead end in life..
inspite of enjoying da 4 yrs n doin al crap the three guys, ryan , hari n alok get settled in life..
even tho its a dark novel( tat s y i loved it more).. its ending was a contrast..
i loved da book, i shd say.. it was funny n great narrative style.. i saw a lil r.k.narayan style influence.. u know, where he narrates serious stuff humorously.. i loved nehas character,,
a very sweet female who wants to try stuff in life..
esp at a point i was kinda amazed where she asks him 2 get a cigarette..
she says" get me 2! i ve heard it tastes too good after sex".. amazingly cool.. a hindustani girl by heart, but sometimes somethin gets on her..
a very happening book..
two days , da mood of da book kinda set on me.. i felt everythin, da way i felt wen i read da book..
wanna read one night at call center 2..
amazing book.. so simple n v touching.. it clearly proves wat i always belived in life..
at any point in yr life, there s nothin where u cant change anythin.. or plainly there s no dead end in life..
inspite of enjoying da 4 yrs n doin al crap the three guys, ryan , hari n alok get settled in life..
even tho its a dark novel( tat s y i loved it more).. its ending was a contrast..
i loved da book, i shd say.. it was funny n great narrative style.. i saw a lil r.k.narayan style influence.. u know, where he narrates serious stuff humorously.. i loved nehas character,,
a very sweet female who wants to try stuff in life..
esp at a point i was kinda amazed where she asks him 2 get a cigarette..
she says" get me 2! i ve heard it tastes too good after sex".. amazingly cool.. a hindustani girl by heart, but sometimes somethin gets on her..
a very happening book..
two days , da mood of da book kinda set on me.. i felt everythin, da way i felt wen i read da book..
wanna read one night at call center 2..
optimist?
I love this world
I love me
I love even what I am not
But what I want to be
Even the most impossible thing
Seems possible to me
Even the distant star seems close by
The hottest sun feels cold
Nothing, which cannot be felt
Nothing, which cannot be seen
Nothing, which cannot be done
Nothing, which cannot be said
I feel
I see
I do
I say
The crazy world says no to most things
It’s difficult
It’s tough
It’s not possible…
There is void space
But what I want is in me
In my mind
In my heart
Within my reach
No dream s unattainable
No fairyland unreachable
Do u call me an optimist???
I love me
I love even what I am not
But what I want to be
Even the most impossible thing
Seems possible to me
Even the distant star seems close by
The hottest sun feels cold
Nothing, which cannot be felt
Nothing, which cannot be seen
Nothing, which cannot be done
Nothing, which cannot be said
I feel
I see
I do
I say
The crazy world says no to most things
It’s difficult
It’s tough
It’s not possible…
There is void space
But what I want is in me
In my mind
In my heart
Within my reach
No dream s unattainable
No fairyland unreachable
Do u call me an optimist???
Sunday, January 08, 2006
bluffmaster..
oops.... dont think i m just another biased aby fan.. but i really loved da movie. of course da main highlights of da movie were
1.aby(of course)
2.stylish sets
3. music(right here n say na), beautifully picturised
4.nana patekar
5.riteish
6.the doc
7. priyanka 2.. she had acted well..
the bad points of da movie were
1.the ending which was not v convincing
2.unwanted emotional scenes.
3.lack in clarity..
but it was v enetertaining, da sets or the places where they were shot(not v sure) was v beautiful.
the romance between priyanka n aby was beautifully portrayed. even though the scenes were few.
i loved da lead pair a lot.
n wanted to blog abt da good music et al i ve been listening to. of course i listened 2 A.R.REehman s "RANG DE BASANTI".. its again totally v different. each song s damn different with typical rehman label on it.
then tis bluffmaster music. i love say na n right here right now.. they sound too good.
n now one upcomin music director s yuvan. his music s really really cool.. kanda naal mudhal had good music.. though da most beautiful part of da movies music was da title song which was jus a remix on da lines of alaipayuthey,.
then two songs in kalvanin kadhali r jus amazing. there s one song called "tajmahal kadhal".. which s simply superb. its not ordinary even in da most ordinary sense.. amazing music. it has a deep soul touching feel, its amazing.. one more song eno s cool too...
1.aby(of course)
2.stylish sets
3. music(right here n say na), beautifully picturised
4.nana patekar
5.riteish
6.the doc
7. priyanka 2.. she had acted well..
the bad points of da movie were
1.the ending which was not v convincing
2.unwanted emotional scenes.
3.lack in clarity..
but it was v enetertaining, da sets or the places where they were shot(not v sure) was v beautiful.
the romance between priyanka n aby was beautifully portrayed. even though the scenes were few.
i loved da lead pair a lot.
n wanted to blog abt da good music et al i ve been listening to. of course i listened 2 A.R.REehman s "RANG DE BASANTI".. its again totally v different. each song s damn different with typical rehman label on it.
then tis bluffmaster music. i love say na n right here right now.. they sound too good.
n now one upcomin music director s yuvan. his music s really really cool.. kanda naal mudhal had good music.. though da most beautiful part of da movies music was da title song which was jus a remix on da lines of alaipayuthey,.
then two songs in kalvanin kadhali r jus amazing. there s one song called "tajmahal kadhal".. which s simply superb. its not ordinary even in da most ordinary sense.. amazing music. it has a deep soul touching feel, its amazing.. one more song eno s cool too...
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
poem..
recently i wrote a poem about a guy.
this is actually the first one i have really written about any real person, other than the one about my sister.
anybody reading it would definitely find it glorifying, but an in depth reading will reveal da negative shades to it..
here it goes..
there is this guy
seen once
unseen many times
belongs to everyone
and yet to no one
you tell him sweet things.
u get sweet things doubly in return
when u say things he doesn't want to hear
u put him to sleep
all in all
he is unpenetratable
and within himself..
i challenged someone that i would write a blog with no short forms and properly punctauted. To do that i could not find something smaller to write. already i am struggling..
this is a very old poem i wrote, anyways short and sweet.
i hope atleast now there is a beginning to my post and an ending.;-)
this is actually the first one i have really written about any real person, other than the one about my sister.
anybody reading it would definitely find it glorifying, but an in depth reading will reveal da negative shades to it..
here it goes..
there is this guy
seen once
unseen many times
belongs to everyone
and yet to no one
you tell him sweet things.
u get sweet things doubly in return
when u say things he doesn't want to hear
u put him to sleep
all in all
he is unpenetratable
and within himself..
i challenged someone that i would write a blog with no short forms and properly punctauted. To do that i could not find something smaller to write. already i am struggling..
this is a very old poem i wrote, anyways short and sweet.
i hope atleast now there is a beginning to my post and an ending.;-)
Monday, December 26, 2005
r.knarayan
i ve become a big time fan of his..
da first book i read of his was guide. i ve written abt it..
then read swamy n friends, then bachelor of arts, english teacher...
swamy n friends s abt a 9 yr old kid swami , who s impulsive , naughty, n really sweet.. jus loved tat book.. never ever have i seen such a kid in my real life. i watched da malgudi days in pogo simultaneously n loved it.. still love it..
then i read bachelor of arts.. its abt a graduate who goes head over heels in love with a girl whom he sees in a river bank..its so funny.. he despertaely asks his mom dad 2 seek tat girl s hand in marriage et all. amazing book.. want 2 read it once more..
but guide a hell no of times wanna read..
now readin english teacher.. its abt married life, its romantic in ts own ways,,.. its a bit tragic,.. not as good as other books i read..
all i nall
rk writes abt ordinary ppl..
ppl who lie..
ppl who cheat..
ppl who r hypocrites..
but r cool n real fun.. tats where he brings inda humor... a very fascinating style..
now i ve plans of deletin da novel i ve written half way thru..
n start al over it again..
but wil i ever be able 2 write with such simplicity n humor? no way man,, sara s such a complex character...
da first book i read of his was guide. i ve written abt it..
then read swamy n friends, then bachelor of arts, english teacher...
swamy n friends s abt a 9 yr old kid swami , who s impulsive , naughty, n really sweet.. jus loved tat book.. never ever have i seen such a kid in my real life. i watched da malgudi days in pogo simultaneously n loved it.. still love it..
then i read bachelor of arts.. its abt a graduate who goes head over heels in love with a girl whom he sees in a river bank..its so funny.. he despertaely asks his mom dad 2 seek tat girl s hand in marriage et all. amazing book.. want 2 read it once more..
but guide a hell no of times wanna read..
now readin english teacher.. its abt married life, its romantic in ts own ways,,.. its a bit tragic,.. not as good as other books i read..
all i nall
rk writes abt ordinary ppl..
ppl who lie..
ppl who cheat..
ppl who r hypocrites..
but r cool n real fun.. tats where he brings inda humor... a very fascinating style..
now i ve plans of deletin da novel i ve written half way thru..
n start al over it again..
but wil i ever be able 2 write with such simplicity n humor? no way man,, sara s such a complex character...
Thursday, December 15, 2005
my own creation- kolam
its been three weeks since i ve had no college.. n i am enjoying da freedom like crazy. spent some time in friends place, watched a hell lot of movies, read novels , watched tv. it has been like vacation.. i don even ve da slightest feel tat i ve exmas next week.i sleep by 3, get up by 10 everyday..
my mom got really pissed off with me.. today being a festive day, i decided 2 put some muska to my mom by assisting her in da multitude of work she was supposed to do( it was karthikai today, where v light diya s al around our house.. love tis festival cos house looks really colourful)
i started off saying ill put maakolam..its kind of a drawing which u draw on floors using a kind of liquid looks similiar 2 porridge(cant describe more).
i started, but it looked light.. so rubbed it off.
then again i tot ill try another style(first i tried imitating da design which was put by an aunty in da opposite house)
i patted myself saying " sara. wat ever u do, u do it absolutely well", it cheered me up..
i told myself i don lack creativity, i cud of course come with a beautiful design.
then i started of again..
it was difficult to put two lines simultaneously, so put one by one, i realized da lines were not straight..
cha, i tot...
again rubbed it..
how i wished i could use a scale to do that.. it wud ve been better if i had a protractor too so tat i cud exactly drw a square with al its angles at 90 degrees..
i started al over it again..
i think i rubbed it over some 7 times.. mom started laughing as to how i was struggling.
i blamed da maavu n said she din make it properly..
then da aunt in da opp hoouse came 2 my rescue. she mixed somethin n said until da ground was wet i will not be able 2 put kolam..
i started off again after drinkng my coffee..
then i put a square n built the design such tat it occupied a large space..
there were some irregularities, but it din seem so obvious..
i was pleased with myself..
i told myself"congrats sara. u ve proved u r good at anythin n everything"
stop laughin ppl, of course i was jokin of da last line
my mom got really pissed off with me.. today being a festive day, i decided 2 put some muska to my mom by assisting her in da multitude of work she was supposed to do( it was karthikai today, where v light diya s al around our house.. love tis festival cos house looks really colourful)
i started off saying ill put maakolam..its kind of a drawing which u draw on floors using a kind of liquid looks similiar 2 porridge(cant describe more).
i started, but it looked light.. so rubbed it off.
then again i tot ill try another style(first i tried imitating da design which was put by an aunty in da opposite house)
i patted myself saying " sara. wat ever u do, u do it absolutely well", it cheered me up..
i told myself i don lack creativity, i cud of course come with a beautiful design.
then i started of again..
it was difficult to put two lines simultaneously, so put one by one, i realized da lines were not straight..
cha, i tot...
again rubbed it..
how i wished i could use a scale to do that.. it wud ve been better if i had a protractor too so tat i cud exactly drw a square with al its angles at 90 degrees..
i started al over it again..
i think i rubbed it over some 7 times.. mom started laughing as to how i was struggling.
i blamed da maavu n said she din make it properly..
then da aunt in da opp hoouse came 2 my rescue. she mixed somethin n said until da ground was wet i will not be able 2 put kolam..
i started off again after drinkng my coffee..
then i put a square n built the design such tat it occupied a large space..
there were some irregularities, but it din seem so obvious..
i was pleased with myself..
i told myself"congrats sara. u ve proved u r good at anythin n everything"
stop laughin ppl, of course i was jokin of da last line
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
wow, 50th post.. but sorry usual stuff poem... abt he..
when i see you..
i enter into a maze that contradicts..
i hate myself due 2 u..
i lve myself due to u..
love preeceded hate?
or hate preceede love?
i dont know..
i like you little
i like you lots
do i like you more? little or lots?
i dont understand..
my lips want to tel u " i like you"
but those lips stop by yr words..
should i tell you ornot?
i dont decide..
you seem like sunshine in my distress..
but you turn into darkness in yr misery..
are you brightness or darkness?
i dont understand..
i feel u inside me close to me..
i feel u r far away unreachable.
are you near me or not?
i cant decide...
i want to see you
and i dont want to see you
why?
i dont know..
do i love you or not?
do i know?
i enter into a maze that contradicts..
i hate myself due 2 u..
i lve myself due to u..
love preeceded hate?
or hate preceede love?
i dont know..
i like you little
i like you lots
do i like you more? little or lots?
i dont understand..
my lips want to tel u " i like you"
but those lips stop by yr words..
should i tell you ornot?
i dont decide..
you seem like sunshine in my distress..
but you turn into darkness in yr misery..
are you brightness or darkness?
i dont understand..
i feel u inside me close to me..
i feel u r far away unreachable.
are you near me or not?
i cant decide...
i want to see you
and i dont want to see you
why?
i dont know..
do i love you or not?
do i know?
the usual my who is he?
even da thought of u sets my soul ablaze
wat to say abt yr gaze?
your smile...? your warmth..?
i thought i was very happy..
until i met you..
i understood happiness better by knowing you..
seeing you.. being with you...
you taught me to feel happy
even in my deepest misery
you snatched my normal self from me
making me abnormal in many ways
i cant forget you
i cant hate you
i cant leave you
i ve loved you for ages
only that i don know u yet
wat to say abt yr gaze?
your smile...? your warmth..?
i thought i was very happy..
until i met you..
i understood happiness better by knowing you..
seeing you.. being with you...
you taught me to feel happy
even in my deepest misery
you snatched my normal self from me
making me abnormal in many ways
i cant forget you
i cant hate you
i cant leave you
i ve loved you for ages
only that i don know u yet
abhi- sis
this is a poem which goes out to my darlin younger sis abhinaya
what did i see?
a smiling happy face
when i was seven years old
never did i think my life is going to become intersting
due to this tiny little thing
when i saw my lil sister in da lap of my mom...
fourteen yrs hence now
she stands in front of me
with the same smile
n da same restlessness of da small kid
moving swift from one place to another
taking occasional breaks to breathe
inbetween her constant chatter
suddenly i find her stop
i realize my mind wandered somewhere
and she knew it
oh god! how did ya create her?
such that she can read my thoughts
beautiful to look at
blithe by structure
enjoyable to be with..
my great company, my sis
the small frequent chatters
the silent not to be noticed giggling
are the great times v share
the turbulent anger in her
i witness at times
all in all
she is nothin
but the other part of me
all who know my sis r requested to comment on tis!! ( it cud even be to say how wrong i was).. hehe cheers
what did i see?
a smiling happy face
when i was seven years old
never did i think my life is going to become intersting
due to this tiny little thing
when i saw my lil sister in da lap of my mom...
fourteen yrs hence now
she stands in front of me
with the same smile
n da same restlessness of da small kid
moving swift from one place to another
taking occasional breaks to breathe
inbetween her constant chatter
suddenly i find her stop
i realize my mind wandered somewhere
and she knew it
oh god! how did ya create her?
such that she can read my thoughts
beautiful to look at
blithe by structure
enjoyable to be with..
my great company, my sis
the small frequent chatters
the silent not to be noticed giggling
are the great times v share
the turbulent anger in her
i witness at times
all in all
she is nothin
but the other part of me
all who know my sis r requested to comment on tis!! ( it cud even be to say how wrong i was).. hehe cheers
Thursday, December 08, 2005
words v need 2 know
Thatthareya Upanishad to entreat her listeners to set aside a portion of the income for their educational institution, another for the poor. All this of course, after looking after one's own family. 'But draw a line at what you need. Take your partner's consent. See that you do not make the receiver your dependent. Give as naturally as you eat, sleep or breathe. ... But what truly helps is the passion for the work.' No, no, compassion doesn't mean tears and talk, she is quick to add. It is not holding meetings and getting your name in the papers.
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