R.K.Narayan

I have been trying to write a story for a long time. However lack of information on one of the main characters does not allow me to proceed. I decided to take this time and write about the god of fiction (according to me) – R.K.Narayan.
I have almost read all of his novels except a few, which I will read very soon. I have read some of his books numerous times, never getting bored of it. The characters are etched too deeply, that you start to visualize them in your mind. He does not focus too much on the appearance of the character except using words like she looked frail, slender and so on. He focuses more on the activities of the character which seems to define the personality.
I have been reading – Mr.Sampath for the third time (it is one of my favorite – a slightly philosophical book). He introduces a character – the future landlord of an editor of a magazine Srinivas. The character is introduced bathing in the street tap. Srinivas hears all the landlord’s tenants cursing the landlord as being miserly. Srinivas then proceeds to the landlord’s house along with him and finds his home very simple without any furniture. The landlord does not have any respect for families or children or has any emotional attachment to anything which is conveyed in about 3 pages of the narrative. This kind of description creates a deep impression in our mind. I have seen other Indian authors describe characters page after page and the characters still appear to be on a different planet and we do not find any emotional connect to them. Yet, Narayan effortlessly gives us insights into the beleifs of the character through their actions. Seemingly a very interesting part of Narayan’s writing is he does not talk about the appearance of the character, yet in our minds we have a very good image of how the character looks like.
I would rate two of his books as the best – probably because they have a strong female protagonist and deal with very deep topics of our existence – “The Guide” and “The Painter of Signs”. I have written a lot about “The Guide” (even though I have made few more discoveries about that book), let me write about “The Painter of Signs”.
“The Painter of Signs” is a book about a man called “Raman” who paints sign boards. He believes that marriage is a waste of time and that a human being should attribute time to more worthwhile pursuits. In the meantime he meets “Daisy” a birth control administrator, whose job is to control the population of a few areas. As the story progresses, we realize that Narayan is trying to explore the idea of sex and the impact it has on human beings through this book. Raman is a guy who thinks that thoughts of sex are futile and he should never think of it. Yet, he is constantly drawn to it. Again, Narayan does not merely say he is trying to take sex thoughts out of his mind. He describes a scene where Raman sees a woman washing clothes in the river and that Raman glanced at her thighs and found them enchanting. Raman then warns himself not to think of women as commodities. Narayan’s style somehow reminds me of the way we are asked to interview in present day. Merely saying that we are hardworking and have presence of mind is not suffice, rather we need to provide examples of where we have exhibited such behavior. Narayan’s books become succinct because he does not even devote a single page to descriptions except for Malgudi.
He picks a street from Malgudi for every character. Raman lives in Ellaman street, the TM lives in Kabir Street, Nagaraj lives in Kabir street as well, Sampath near New Extension and so on. The City of Malgudi somehow reveals itself with every novel of his.
In the Painter of Signs, Daisy is a very bold woman who is not ashamed to talk about sex in public. She educates villagers of safe sex practices. Raman is drawn to Daisy, who in Narayan’s mind is a very epitome of sex. She is described as a very fickle woman who changes her mind everyday (Similar to Jessie in Vinnai Thaandi Varuvaaya). We also learn that Daisy is extremely passionate , ambitious , unconventional and believes only in logic when we hear about her story of how she ran away from home. Raman is constantly struggling to make her accept his love for him.
The novel has many humorous moments. When he suspects that Daisy would have complained to the police about him . He uses the word “Daisyism” to describe his feelings for her. The instances where he tries to get her out of his mind by wearing glasses that made her look very disfigured.
It also has a lot of philosophical bits where he reads a message that says “This too shall pass” indicating his attraction to Daisy is temporary, seeming to indicate that sex is a very temporary thing. The novel ends with a line that says “Raman cycled towards Boardless, the place which had more stability and permanence ‘indicating that work or the duty towards the society is a permanent thing in the world

New life

I am writing this in a train from Newark Penn Station to New Brunswick on my way back from work. I will be moving to Jersey City this weekend. My apartment is going to be on the 26th floor with an amazing view of the Hudson River. I am truly living the best days of my life. My new job has been crafted according to what I always desired. I believe completely “Dreams do come true”. I feel happy, energized and alive. Even though I have absolutely no time in my life, I want to write this blog because I can read this later in my life and remind myself that whatever you desire, the universe conspires for you to get it.
I feel truly blessed to be doing this job. I am so passionate about it and would do it even for free. The people in my team are absolutely marvelous. They are helpful, fun and easy to get along with. Sometimes I feel my life is absolutely pre-destined. I feel a lot of things in my life were meant to be. For example some of the people I am meeting here. All the people I meet in my life, I learn something from them and they affect me in some way. It is probably too early to say that I love the people in my job. But I absolutely do.
I remember one day about two months ago I was standing by the river Hudson and felt that I communicated with the river. It was absolutely wonderful. I spoke to the river of my dreams and desires. I told her that I needed to come and live here. I dreamt of living in a high rise building and doing a job in the World Financial Center. Sometimes I wonder, do my dreams come true? Or do I dream about them because they are going to be true? Anyways I feel absolutely great and feel like living some of the best times of my life.
I did not anticipate the extent of benefits I have been getting at Deloitte. It has been great. I know god gives us good after bad and bad after good. This time of my life compensates for all the bad things I had experienced. I feel like I have forgiven everyone who has hurt me in some way. I also request people who I have hurt to forgive me as well. Truly, life is worth living and I love every minute of it!

Independance for Women?

I have been thinking for a long time as to how the society has created the entire system convenient to men. Today is Independence Day for India. I wonder have the Indian women got any freedom at all? When I look at the urban women population of India, those who stand in the way of their freedom are women themselves. When we just start passively accepting what the society has lived by for thousands of years, how do we grow? Isn’t it time to start thinking of a new system?

I have had numerous conversations with a friend of mine who truly believes in the liberation of Indian woman. He sent me the video of a tamil girl called Meena Kandasamy who is pretty famous these days due to her poems and other social activities. One of her poems is about the story of Ahalya which is a part of Ramayana. Ahalya is punished for her promiscuity by her husband who is a sage. Even though I did not understand her poem nor did I agree with a lot of what she had to say, it kinda made me think and I came up with this poem.

We should all start thinking of a new society – a society that is created for women , for women who have it all!

I live in a New World
The Grass is still green
The sky is blue
But the women do what they want to do
The World is a land of Krishnaa- the dark skinned woman
Whose features promise intelligence
Her identity is no longer restricted by her beautiful figure or her intelligent face
She is no longer bound by age
“Age to get married”
“Age to have a baby”
“Age to give up your dreams”
She does not constantly crave for acceptance
“Acceptance by Men”
“Acceptance by Older Women”
She does not feel guilty of pleasure and enjoyment
She is no longer restricted to serve others in the name of age old tradition
Nor does she have to put up a masculine façade to enjoy the many privileges mankind enjoys in the name of MAN
She does not wait for a man to declare her as an equal
She knows she can have it all and strives boldly to pursue her destiny

The Imperfect Life

I once read “The Malgudi days” by R.K.Narayan (Again, yeah!) and it has a story about a sculptor who makes a statue of Lord Natarajan. The story goes on about the beauty of the statue and how perfect it has been made. The sculptor is worried that if he took the statue to the temple, the world would come to an end. The universe does not like anything made to perfection. He thinks if he breaks a toe or a finger from the statue, it will be less perfect and nothing would happen. I believe there is some truth to that. When we think our life is perfect and everything is in place, the universe seeks out to challenge it.
I went to the Titanic Museum in Branson, Missouri and was very much in awe of the mechanical intelligence of the great ship. It was believed that the ship was unsinkable. The universe set out to challenge that as well.
We see all around us that something that is perfect does not last long enough. Is it a self fulfilling prophecy of our belief in imperfection? Or is it really true that we cannot ever create anything that is more perfect than the lives that the universe creates for us. Incidents and events in our life at the right time and right place that when you look back you understand the meaning of every little thing that happened in your life and its significance.
Alaipayuthey is a tamil movie which deeply affected me in my teens. What was so great about this movie? Rather which thing in this movie seemed to fill the hole in my spirit? I think it was the grandeur image of a man who loved a woman. It is a theme which is consistent in all Mani Rathnam movies from Mouna Ragam to Raavan. I like Mani Rathnam because I like to at least see these men on the screen.
I did suffer silently due to the absolute perfectionist image I saw in these films. I thought that such a personality is really possible. I was really naïve. However, there is one part or rather one scene in the movie that I really understand now. It is a scene where a guy who has been married for a long time advises a recently married guy. He points out the differences in the love before and after marriage. He compares the love before marriage to be like a flower – beautiful, yet something that withers away and the love after marriage that is strong like the roots of a tree.
In my previous post about love and hormones, I did receive some comments about how love can exist. I do believe love exists. However the love after marriage is different. I feel an attachment. Love before marriage is like a peak of emotions always on a roller coaster. Love after marriage is somewhat smooth (even though it does have some roller coaster).
I do not have a problem with imperfection. In fact, these days I adore it. I have come to terms with my imperfection. The problematic area in my body (my arms), my impulsive behavior and sometimes acting too arrogant without any reason are all my imperfection. God created me this way for a reason and I am an instrument of the doer.
Yet, I feel I am given the gift to really appreciate life in its most beautiful form. Every time I go off track, I get a lesson out of life and it helps me get rid of all the unnecessary things and I am back on track. Even though each of us crave success and happiness so much in life, I like the lessons failure offer us. It gives us a chance to get in touch with our true self.
Life is imperfect. However sometimes we just know, even though it is imperfect, it is meant to be!

Life and Marriage

I was reading R.K. Narayan’s “Dark Room” and he touches on Male Chauvenism from time to time. It is so liberating to know that an Indian author of such old times thinks and appreciates womanhood so much. Some Indian authors even now try to portray India as excessively male dominated even though it is probably not true (as I’d like to believe).
The story Dark room is about a very sincere and dedicated wife of a very angry and arrogant man. Whenever the wife disagrees with her husband, she locks herself up in a dark room and doesn’t come out for days. It is an outlet for her to let out her anger rather than arguing with him. At one part of the story she stays in her room and doesn’t come out even to eat anything for an entire day. One of her friend who is a very mature lady comes into the room and explains to her how harsh men can sometimes be. She tells her tales of how men had treated women in olden days and how submissive women have been. Our mythologies are loaded with tales of sincere and devoted wives like Sita and Savithri. She also explains the torment they have gone through and yet sustained themselves. Listening to the friends tales, the wife is comforted and feels she has acted very silly and comes out of the room.
It really makes me wonder that women have not evolved from that time. The story even happens today. We are sometimes really angry with our husbands, yet we are comforted by the thought of other husbands who are still worse. We as women believe that we are destined to a life not worthy of happiness or fulfillment. We always think that men deserve so much better. Men also seem to think that way. It is some kind of group or herd behavior we have all been accustomed to. This kind of mentality is not just prevalent among the Indian women. I have seen women complain so much of their husbands and how they do not do any household work at all or help them. Yet, these women love their husbands so much and do not even want to think of leaving them.
What is marriage? I have heard so many say that it is man made. A lot of other things are man made as well. Jobs are man made. God did not create jobs. Money is man made. God did not create money as well. God probably created food, love, sex and procreation. The rest of the complication – education, numerous rules for everyone to get along is all created by man. I sometimes wonder what if a baby just born is brought up in an environment where she is not told about any rules of life. I think some rules we are taught from a very young age like “ Time is precious”, “ work hard”, “ Share among others” and so many other things, how would they behave? The baby is given food whenever she wants and once she grows she is given a man to mate with. Will she be happy with her life? Is this what we are all born for ? Procreation? Because as we see around and learn so many new things created by man, we feel this desire to participate and create something by ourself as well. What if nothing was created in this world? How would we feel then?
Sometimes I think of an Indian marriage like a Government job. You know it is for life and the partner is not going to leave you no matter what. If that is the case what holds the marriage together? Fear or love? A marriage works when you put the needs of your partner well above yours and that is reciprocated by your partner as well. However if you love your partner yet make no effort to make her happy , will your partner still love you? Isnt love a two way street? If love dies for one of the partner, does fear hold the two together? Fear that you will not get anyone better. Fear of harsh words of your relatives.
After wondering about this and looking at a lot of couples, I have come to realize that fear never holds a marriage together. I have noticed that despite the couple not expressing to each other how much they love each other, they do love each other.
The most important thing a woman wants is not to chip in to do household work. She wants instances in which he shows her work is appreciated. A small gift, sometimes a public display of affection and an appreciation for the work she does. Sometimes even listening to her suggestions is a big ego booster for women.
What does a man wants? It is surprising that a man does not really want anything from a woman. Even though I would like to believe that I promote female equality and so on. I cannot but just ignore the superiority of the masculine gender for its completeness. The woman gives everything out of her own wish. A man does not want a woman to cook for him, clean for him or do anything. He just wants her to be there for him, supporting him and loving him. Sometimes he doesn’t even want love to be expressed. It is fascinating to watch a man. A woman constantly craves for love, attention and approval.
I read somewhere in our mythological book that if you have done a lot of virtue in your previous Janma, you will be born as a man. I think there is some truth to that. Even though men have some vices like constant physical attraction to other women even though they don’t love them and so on, they are better species. They are happy and content .
As a famous hindi movie “ Pyaar Ka Punchnama “ says , I completely believe “ A happy woman is a myth”. I would like to add that this phrase applies to modern Indian woman, who constantly have received attention (due to the skewed ratio of men to women in India), never been turned down and always appreciated.
My mother on the other hand is a very happy woman. She is happy doing her duty and not expecting anything in return. This goes back to my Bhagavath Gita lesson “ Do your duty and do not expect the fruits for it”. It has taken me 27 years to realize this , but once I did the fruits are a lot more than what I worked for. You can never be happy if you are constantly trying to make yourself happy. Try to make others happy and do your duty and that is the secret to eternal happiness.

Era of excellence

I feel I am living in an era of excellence. Anybody who puts in their heart and soul into something, seems to succeed. I am finding inspiration all around me as I continue to do my soul searching.

It is however difficult to determine, if these people chose their field of excellence or just stumbled upon it out of pure coincidence? How about people like me aspiring to acheive excellence? I know very few people live to own up their passion and work towards it. Is it really easy to do? Or is it probably the most easiest and normal thing to do?

I have always beleived that the universe is a very intelligent machine that works for the greater good. However, recently I feel more control over my life. In such a scenario I have started doubting the universe a little bit. Of course, I need the help of the universe to make me go where I want to. However the destination is chosen by me.

I guess I am pretty close to my destination. The only puzzle that is left to be solved is how do I get there?

Life

As I was reading my old posts today, I realized I have been so full of life and energy. I have also been very intelligent. somehow I have changed now. I dont know why.
But I feel I can get back to my old self now. I just need to do a little bit of uncluttering and remove unnecassary things and baggage off myself and I can go back to my old self.
I am also going to blog a little more often. The blog is like a trail for my life.

Life has some lessons to teach
And some tough experiences to give
The lessons make us move forward
And the experience makes us wiser.

Sometimes I wonder – Can I get back to the old me with just the lessons?
I think it is possible
Just unclutter your soul and dig deeper into your true self

Birthday

With every passing day,
There are millions of thoughts that cross my mind,
And thousands of thoughts get transformed into action
And some thoughts into mere words….
With every birthday
I complete a full round, yet I feel I have come back to the same spot!
Sometimes I wonder
Is it because I think the same thoughts day after day?
With every birthday I know I have lived with myself for one more year
Yet, I seem more distant from myself and closer to what the world wants of me.
Should I fight the battle and get closer to me or give in to what the world wants?
I never seem to know
Every birthday of mine has a common trait,
It brings more questions into the horizon
And the answers seem many light years away…….

Atheism

With most of the people I know turning atheists, I turn everyday to my deeply religious roots. Is it because I am a very complicated person? I wonder! I need some help from our scriptures to understand how to be more peaceful, happy and content. The scriptures have a lot to offer. Ramayana tells us the story of Rama – an extremely virtuous person living a normal life. When we turn our attention to people like that, slowly we imbibe their characteristics. When I listen or read to the numerous stories in our scriptures (I love stories as well), it makes me deeply content. I am yet to understand the reason for the contentment. The grand images and beautiful characters who are ever giving make me inspired.
I am not against atheists. I don’t understand why atheists hate theists like me. The atheists totally detest temple worship. Are they totally oblivious of the fact that the temples support millions of small businesses – in the form of flowers, idols and calendars/posters? The money donated to a temple by rich people goes to good causes. Temples offer free food and shelter for homeless people. A small part of the money goes into buying coconuts and other worship items for the idols. I guess it is not such an immense amount to the millions looted by our politicians.
If someone really followed our scriptures, they would contribute to a loving and beautiful society. Yet, most of us follow things that are convenient to us.