Thoughts

I always want to write something when I am in bed. I think that’s when I am not doing anything. Just lying and waiting to sleep. I have too many thoughts tonight. Thoughts that have become heavy enough for me to not to be able to carry forward.

My first thought is about the world’s or I should say the US’s perception of India. I was chatting with a colleague of mine at work. She is a lady who takes care of supplies and other administrative tasks. She is from some part of Africa (here comes my ignorance I did not ask her exactly where she was from). She said she never wanted to go back to her country because of safety issues and corruption and other reasons. She then asked me if I wanted to go back. I told her I definitely wanted to go back- “That’s where all the growth is – Wouldn’t I be missing it if I was here? In 5 years at least I want to go back” (I did not tell her how much more convincing I had to do to get my husband back to India). She gave me a picture of India – a place full of slums, unhygienic and so on. I don’t blame her – that’s what Mr.Slumdog millionaire has done to the world. A movie based on a book of one of the greatest ideas “Q&A” exaggerated to lengths to belittle India beyond anyone’s wildest imagination. The movie would have been total nonsense if not for the music – “A.R.Rehman” and the Indian actors. So if you remove all the Indian elements out of the movie, there is nothing left. Yet, these people got together to create a piece which would show India in its most ugly form. Is that because we crave international attention so much? India has a soul, a deep spirit – great values, which people in India themselves, are trying to kill by getting westernized every day. Why India- why do you want to get into this western trap ?
I think the arranged marriage is one of the best inventions of this world. After months of deliberation and thought I have come to the conclusion that love is non existant. All that exists are hormones and when the hormones wear out – there is nothing left for two people to stay together. So would you marry someone because the hormones are high when you see them? The hormones are secreted more if you see a symmetrical face with perfect features , a body that shows signs of reproductive capabilities. We as humans are constantly trying to procreate – either consciously or without our knowledge. That’s how we are made. So we think we like someone because the hormones are secreted more. WE also like or think we love someone when that person likes us. In sum, there is nothing called love – its all just pure HORMONES.
A few weeks back, I told a friend of mine – “ I made my marriage decisions with my mind and not my heart” - Might sound like a typical bollywood dialogue , but true. I think I have all the wisdom in my spirit, which led me to choose the path of arranged marriage. The path that surprises so many people of the west. I think it’s the safest haven ever. There is an old saying in Tamil – “Mind is a monkey”. I could probably say our heart is fickle , I am pretty sure everybody’s heart is . In this world nothing is permanent. One of my colleagues advised me to take up a less challenging career because I was a woman. HE said “ Jobs come and go, family is what remains.” IF my mother in law thought so when she got married, she would have been in streets with three children when her husband died five years into marriage.
So people , at least my Indian folks - Don’t give up your solid relationships that you have – your mother, father and everyone for these hormones. Let us all promote our eastern thoughts and spirit.