r.knarayan

i ve become a big time fan of his..
da first book i read of his was guide. i ve written abt it..
then read swamy n friends, then bachelor of arts, english teacher...
swamy n friends s abt a 9 yr old kid swami , who s impulsive , naughty, n really sweet.. jus loved tat book.. never ever have i seen such a kid in my real life. i watched da malgudi days in pogo simultaneously n loved it.. still love it..
then i read bachelor of arts.. its abt a graduate who goes head over heels in love with a girl whom he sees in a river bank..its so funny.. he despertaely asks his mom dad 2 seek tat girl s hand in marriage et all. amazing book.. want 2 read it once more..
but guide a hell no of times wanna read..
now readin english teacher.. its abt married life, its romantic in ts own ways,,.. its a bit tragic,.. not as good as other books i read..
all i nall
rk writes abt ordinary ppl..
ppl who lie..
ppl who cheat..
ppl who r hypocrites..
but r cool n real fun.. tats where he brings inda humor... a very fascinating style..
now i ve plans of deletin da novel i ve written half way thru..
n start al over it again..
but wil i ever be able 2 write with such simplicity n humor? no way man,, sara s such a complex character...

my own creation- kolam

its been three weeks since i ve had no college.. n i am enjoying da freedom like crazy. spent some time in friends place, watched a hell lot of movies, read novels , watched tv. it has been like vacation.. i don even ve da slightest feel tat i ve exmas next week.i sleep by 3, get up by 10 everyday..
my mom got really pissed off with me.. today being a festive day, i decided 2 put some muska to my mom by assisting her in da multitude of work she was supposed to do( it was karthikai today, where v light diya s al around our house.. love tis festival cos house looks really colourful)
i started off saying ill put maakolam..its kind of a drawing which u draw on floors using a kind of liquid looks similiar 2 porridge(cant describe more).
i started, but it looked light.. so rubbed it off.
then again i tot ill try another style(first i tried imitating da design which was put by an aunty in da opposite house)
i patted myself saying " sara. wat ever u do, u do it absolutely well", it cheered me up..
i told myself i don lack creativity, i cud of course come with a beautiful design.
then i started of again..
it was difficult to put two lines simultaneously, so put one by one, i realized da lines were not straight..
cha, i tot...
again rubbed it..
how i wished i could use a scale to do that.. it wud ve been better if i had a protractor too so tat i cud exactly drw a square with al its angles at 90 degrees..
i started al over it again..
i think i rubbed it over some 7 times.. mom started laughing as to how i was struggling.
i blamed da maavu n said she din make it properly..
then da aunt in da opp hoouse came 2 my rescue. she mixed somethin n said until da ground was wet i will not be able 2 put kolam..
i started off again after drinkng my coffee..
then i put a square n built the design such tat it occupied a large space..
there were some irregularities, but it din seem so obvious..
i was pleased with myself..
i told myself"congrats sara. u ve proved u r good at anythin n everything"
stop laughin ppl, of course i was jokin of da last line

wow, 50th post.. but sorry usual stuff poem... abt he..

when i see you..
i enter into a maze that contradicts..

i hate myself due 2 u..
i lve myself due to u..
love preeceded hate?
or hate preceede love?
i dont know..


i like you little
i like you lots
do i like you more? little or lots?
i dont understand..


my lips want to tel u " i like you"
but those lips stop by yr words..
should i tell you ornot?
i dont decide..


you seem like sunshine in my distress..
but you turn into darkness in yr misery..
are you brightness or darkness?
i dont understand..

i feel u inside me close to me..
i feel u r far away unreachable.
are you near me or not?
i cant decide...

i want to see you
and i dont want to see you
why?
i dont know..

do i love you or not?
do i know?

the usual my who is he?

even da thought of u sets my soul ablaze
wat to say abt yr gaze?
your smile...? your warmth..?

i thought i was very happy..
until i met you..

i understood happiness better by knowing you..
seeing you.. being with you...

you taught me to feel happy
even in my deepest misery

you snatched my normal self from me
making me abnormal in many ways

i cant forget you
i cant hate you
i cant leave you

i ve loved you for ages
only that i don know u yet

abhi- sis

this is a poem which goes out to my darlin younger sis abhinaya



what did i see?
a smiling happy face
when i was seven years old
never did i think my life is going to become intersting
due to this tiny little thing
when i saw my lil sister in da lap of my mom...

fourteen yrs hence now
she stands in front of me
with the same smile
n da same restlessness of da small kid

moving swift from one place to another
taking occasional breaks to breathe
inbetween her constant chatter

suddenly i find her stop
i realize my mind wandered somewhere
and she knew it
oh god! how did ya create her?
such that she can read my thoughts

beautiful to look at
blithe by structure
enjoyable to be with..
my great company, my sis

the small frequent chatters
the silent not to be noticed giggling
are the great times v share

the turbulent anger in her
i witness at times


all in all
she is nothin
but the other part of me


all who know my sis r requested to comment on tis!! ( it cud even be to say how wrong i was).. hehe cheers

words v need 2 know

Thatthareya Upanishad to entreat her listeners to set aside a portion of the income for their educational institution, another for the poor. All this of course, after looking after one's own family. 'But draw a line at what you need. Take your partner's consent. See that you do not make the receiver your dependent. Give as naturally as you eat, sleep or breathe. ... But what truly helps is the passion for the work.' No, no, compassion doesn't mean tears and talk, she is quick to add. It is not holding meetings and getting your name in the papers.

guide book review

wat 2 say man.. just really really loved da book...after a long time i read a book with rapt attention. to read a book abt real ppl. ppl from tamil nadu, reading abt drinking coffee n eating idlis..conservative society.. not tolerating fallin in love with a married woman.. n last but not least how crazy a man can get abt a girl..
such a fabulous story.. da story starts with humor where all da village folks mistake raju 4 a saint. n every coincidence seemed 2 support tat fact. no other book i ve read has matched tat humor. they say P.G.Wodehouse s great. but i could not even finish half da book of "ask jeeves".. anyways tastes differ...
i love da kind of love raju has for rosie. even though she s married, he wants no favour, no love in return.. how he wants 2 look good in front of her, how he tries 2 impress her was al so real n simple..
da entire book s abt da guide narratin his story,,, n every bit s impressive,..it is humorous, emotional , romantic , touchin n watnot?
i feel i want to read more indian authors.. i m bored of da books which deal with ppl from US, where everything is allowed..
life gets more fun when there r restrictions n more fun2 break those restrictions...
hey na?

guide!

yesterday went 2 see da "kanda naal mudhal' movie .it was okay. it was movie for da sake of a movie. watched it jus cos it was directed by mani rathnam s assistant.... i thought atleast some scent of it would be seen in da movie. but alas! anyways da romance was well tried...
i came back homw.. n was bored was sometime . went 2 temple. then realized tat it was long time i read a book. da last book i read was da vinci code. i din like it tat much except for parts abt da last supper detials. it was an okay book according to me..it had been long time since i had a book n read it all through the day. the last book i read like tat was i think"not a penny more , not a penny less" by jefferey archer.. a great fan of archer i ve been. i ve liked him 4 his optimism, like how linda goodman says in her sunsign book abt da arien female..
da arien female had a square plot to live in, with little food 2 spare her kids n dogs n a divorcee.wen an astrologer said tat tough times were ahead she questioned him wen? oblivious of da current misery she was in.. tat s da kind of optimisn i feel with jefferey archer..
one book of jeff i haven read s "first among equals". i decided 2 go get it..
thinking i went 2 da library..
y have i named tis post "guide?" s yet 2 come...
i went 2 library n almost picked up da jeff book wen da book "guide", by R.K.Narayanan came to my sight. i ve heard a lot abt R.K.Narayanan s writings n ve seen tis movie guide.. i luvd da song"tere mere sapne" n "piya tuse" .. da beauty of da movie has primarily been due 2 da simple , beautiful "waheeda rehman" n of course "devanand"..
hearing da word guide, apart from da movie another person came 2 my mind.. during my trip 2 goa, there was a guide called "oscar".. he s one person i wd never forget. he did make my goa trip memorable..
an arien . born on april 1. amazing speakin skills n intelligence in gettin along with ppl.. n not 2 mention a flirt of da first order..
in the beach i started my conversation jus askin him his birthday, he was neither astonished or amazed by da question.. rather said , i ws born on "fools day, april 1" n started laughing. i too could not stop laughing.. then he told me where he was working blah blah..
i like such ppl who are v easy 2 talk to, u don need 2 put so much of effort. u know. they llmake u feel comfortable. throughout da trip he kept on talkin to me.. on initial step was enough,,i wanted 2 post tis abt him, but u no din ve da patience 2 do so.. i still ve da diary he gave me.. in tat did i start writing my poetry..
arien men r amazing man.. luv them so much..
now abt da book guide...i think ill do it in da next post..
good night ppl..

garam masala

today was a great day!
i had great fun for three reasons
1.met my school buddies
2.enjoyed watchin garam masala in 6 degrees theatre(its 2 kewl)
3. match was amazing(watched only last part tho)
after a long long time met arch n aysh.. they haven changed a bit.. they say ive changed tho,, n i guess al wil laugh wat change.. i ve slimmed down( i think its true ,, even in the function on saturday raji mami said she mistook me 4 abhi cos i had slimmed down , apart 4m tat vidya manni s mom said, then geetha periamma, so ive come 2 da conclusion i ve become slim. hahah)
n second my tone of speakin et al has become softer.. i m less authoritative .. all my college mates wil laugh at tis..
me, jan, arch n aysh were (n still r ) great friends.but al da 4 of us r so damn different, different in our perspectives, tastes n all.. but still v were great friends.. but v had few things in common 2 ...all of us r head strong, confident n bullies of da first order.. all da 4 of us ve varied interests n i m sure all of us ll make a mark in the future.. of da 4 , me aysh n arch r vvv uncoventional.. n aysh extreme.. jan s a bit conventional..
today mornin suddenly tis plan was made n v went.. so nice it was 2 meet them..
movie..
i thoroughly enjoyed it, it s a v normal story of how a guy manages three girl friends simultaneously.. but presented really well..
akshay kumar was really really awesome. he acts well. johnny baby s so sweet.. his dimply smile makes my heart melt.. amazing body. but somethin missing.. yep, his acting..he shd improve ,.. tat s al ill say.. cant criticize such a great looking guy..he s looks amazing ..
i loved mambo da cook, don no exactly wat his name his..
but i kept laughing throughout the movie..da whole theatre was echoin with our laughther..
the theatre 6 degrees was great too...
i came back home n saw winning match of india..
again i was full of admirations for dravid.. never seen such a good human being, modest, considerate, compassionate, hardworking, intelligent, encouraging, n wat not...n not to miss really great looking..

his wife s da luckiest woman on earth...
today i enjoyed my heart out..
hope al days r as enjoyable as tis

mera saaya....

wat 2 say yaar? my sem exams postponed 2 dec 19.. so i was totally free yday.. had fun with shashank sweetheart, never seen a kid like that. he s so damn intelligent. knows all kind of stuff. time seems 2 fly when i m with him.. but what to say he s jus like ravi anna.. but by abt 3 he became very sleepy.. so i went to drop him in his house..
was playing with ekansh. shashank s a typical gemini non stop talks , brilliant n amazing ppl with his wit.. whereas ekansh s a typical scorpion.. never does he open his mouth(kya karen, he s jus 1 yr old).. hahah
then, came back home n watched an old hindi movie...
mera saaya..
thu jahan jahan chalega mera saaya sath hoga..
my dad told me music l be good in the movie.. being a fan of ol hindi music , i tot ill c it n i loved it.. it was so touchin n affecting. never did i think it ll be tat fabulous. mainly because of music n lyrics. i loved da title song, it shows da in depth love between da lead pair...
da story s abt how a husband mistakenly thinks his wife s sis(twins) to be his wife n thinks her 2 be dead.. how the wife tries to explain that she really s da wife s da story.. it was v diff...but highlight i would say s da music..
even liked the "jhumka gira re " song so much"
inspired by how much the female charcter geetha loved her husband i wrote a poem yday night at 1...

the breath of air from you
makes me go out of my senses...

i see my life as dream with you..
a dream which never seemed to end..

all my years of sacrificed pleasure..
seems to be worth the joy i experience with you...

i can wait for years together
to see you
and to be seen by you..

the magic of your touch
brings back life to all my senses..

i never knew i could be this happy
before meeting you..

you brought me into a new world...
a world in which i hope to live throughout my life...

my luv with aby

told abt da dream inspired poetry na..
here it s...

i felt like i entered a new world..
fresh breath of air..
with loads of fragrance..
loads of love in heart..

i saw my dream as you..
beautifully packaged..
and sent to me..

nothing actually matters wat s around..
the most beautiful place..
or the awfully crowded streets..
what matters is tat i am with you..

all my love started with you
and will probably end with you..
i find the best part of me in you,,
and the wost part of you in me,...

i feel your presence even when you are not with me..
your smile fills each and every part of me..
i forget my unhappiness when i think of you..
you are my "epitome of happiness"

what did you ever find in me?
to love me so much?
when i could not find a single reason
not to love you...

now, i think..
how incomplete my life would have been without you...



how romantic na? had a great experience writing it... inspired from "jadoo hai nasha hain" from jism...
my most fav song.

my experience with rain!

chennai was blessed with so much rain tis year..
one 1 of those rainy days...


the bright sun faded away slowly
i looked up at the sky..
grey clouds thundered..
my heart missed a beat, it seemed..
a leaf fell on my feet..
with tiny drops of water on it..
cool wind brushed aside..
darkness set in.
after the blnk of my eyes.
there was water and water around me..
world seemed more green..

water drops grew bigger and bigger..
hitting me hard.
but still it was a sweet touch..
it was like god eulogizing me with his glory..

god created rain only for me it seemed..
i was walkin all alone in the deserted streets..
my close moments with rain..
me and rain..
rain and me..

suddenly an old lady came into the street..
the lost smile came back to my lips..
when i saw her holding an umbrella..

the rainy world s created for me to enjoy..
for me and me alone..


for all those wonderin wat it was.. its again my attempt at poetry.. sara will never stop trying. haha

memorable day!

nov 13th was one of da many memorable days in y life..
first of all da last lab exam in crescent engineering college...
when my exams got over n when i was comin by bus i realized my college life has indeed been memorable..
da great times i had with priya r indeed unforgettable.. while comin back i was listenin 2 da mob confis song(only priya knows wat song it s).. slowly my chain of thoughts was stimulated...
da great times v had in gre prep in jhoola, in mp classes n oc classes.. da nicknames v had for our classmates, our comments about them, da great times v had near da sports center..
da fun we had on rainy days...
infact i ve had great times in my class in general.. i felt 4 da first time in my life i was gonna miss college....
when i came back homemy cousin divya was there... i felt how much i had missed her after talkin to her..
da fun n adventure we both had had cannot equal anything in my life..
when v were young n in my granny s house, v took a torn bed 2 da terrace n put all cotton in da entrance of da flat n with every piece of cotton v threw v used 2 chat "om namashivaya" and laugh like mad...
v used to go 4 walkin , get lost n then find ways ourselves n return,,,
v used to be awake whole night, n try new recipes in the night and write poems(fun poems in da tunes of songs tat already existed),
v used 2 call up random nos n sing songs... v even became friends 2 a guyu called dilip who was cunning enough 2 find out our house. v got into a lot of troubles..
v tried 2 resolve an affair of our cousin by tellin our uncle only in vain 2 know tat our cousin had played with us..
not jus this,,, v had done a lot more..
v tried sellin used greetin cards n tried to provide funds 2 an orphanage(when i was 6th).. even though it seems 2 be a real crazy idea, u shd appreciate me cos at tat young age i had such a social thought...
tis s not an end 2 all da adventorous things ive done in my life,,, i ve done adventorous things with janani n krithika...very few ppl on earth r as adventorous as sara on earth...
da day ended perfectly, u know how?
i had a dream of going on a date with my darling aby, ya "abhisheik bachan".. nothin can beat it.. n da dream made my day( i mean next day nov 14)..
inspired by tat dream i wrote a poem, which ill write with da remaining adventures in my life..
n also a detailes decription of my dream...
tomm etihics exam .. bye

guys!!

today my prac exams got cancelled due to heavy rain n i am gonna write about somethin really useful!
haha, atleast its interesting to me...for all those who wonder y i am still single tis post would provide all info.. actually none r there who live upto my expectations. actually three people have n all who know me know abt them 2 !

1.ABHISHEIK BACHCHAN
2.JAI
3.ANANTHU(RISHI RAJ)

n what was in them tat attracted me toward them?
the first n formost being HEIGHT!, tats a great turn on for me.. anybody around 6 feet n u r gauranteed a stare from sara...
next, a smile which never leaves da lips..... should be able to make a highly depressed person laugh till their stomach hurts...
should be REALLY REALLY FLIRTY..... should have had 101 affairs( i know damn difficult in chennai, findin a guy who s had three affairs itself s tough)..
preferably should have a great voice or should know to play some instrument(guitar or thabla, preferably).. i love music( who ll entertain me then/?)
should be very INTELLIGENT... u read it wrong. i don wanna IIM or IIT degree holder. but a guy who can manage situations n ppl without any tension
SHOULD NOT HATE ANBODY.. should be oblivious of da feelin of hatred..
should never ever get angry(wat ever i do.. cos i am really talented in makin even da coolest person on earth get angry)
should be very sociable n attached person..(sara s a litlle shy)..
should not be able 2 hurt anybody , should have such a soft n sensitive heart..
should be damn adventorous...
should not at al be emotional, should be damn EASY GOING...
with all these qualities should preferably be good looking and rich(who ll spend for al tat i eat>? , haha)

let me conclude with a poem i wrote of late

when i see you from a distance i freeze,
i melt by your stare
my heart beats faster than usual..
with yr breath on my face.
able 2 hear yr heart beat..
can u come tat close to me?

my desire to write!

well well well! it all started with my ambition to become a journalist...
since my childhood my desire to communicate to people wat i felt has been more intense than to communicate to people wat i think! tat s why my blog s full of such stuff...... a real close reader of my blog would have noticed tat sara s a real emotional creature...
today i was going through many blogs n then realized how different they were from mine.. apparently i caught one of my seniors on chat yesterday n then from da links he had on his blog i visited many of them..
they were interesting, but nothin of da sort i write...nor do i write sorts of things they write..
today i feel really weird.. i don understand wat tis feelin s all about.. watched a real fav movie of mine. used da perfume which i used around 3 yrs back n da climate s real sexy here.. raining like mad!
me feelin weird cud be due 2 all these reasons.. but there s one more reason as well .. i am reminded of my old times.. not so old though. some three yrs back.. my twelfth hols.
how i wish i had tis blog tat time...
hmmm, i know tis post has nothing significantl... but could not stop myself from posting it

hero worship!

i have never admired anybody to this extent nor did i ever feel i wanted to be like someone.. though anybody seein me or talking to me would essentially think i am a narcissist, this great human being i met(i consider it as god s beautiful gift actually) made me feel i am nothing beside him..
i feel so bad comparing myself with him.. of course i cant be compared to him by any means.. i might be smaller than a grain beside a huge mountain..
Dr.M.J.S.Rangachar, our Hod is the man i am talking about! i was reading my post about lecturers today and just thought i missed to write about an amazzing human being...
no one would ever believe he is 67 years of age, though he keeps tellin his age wen he narrates some incidents in his life!
could anyone in life be so perfect? hardworking, considerat, active, understanding and so much disciplined?yet i would call him very innocent!because he does not know anything evil....
i was wondering if i could be atlleast half of wat he is right now at that age, i would consider making my life very useful...
V had gone to visit Avadi transmitter station with him ....
from one channel to another we moved really swift , not a single trace ofold age..it shows his passion for education , to make people knowledgable...though he was walkin he never let the us walk. he fought with the bus driver to take us from one place to another within the station...
at 1:30, when all of us were damn tired and hungry, he was still very energetic... when told there was no good restaurant nearby , he said lets go back to college and tat would be travelling another one n a half hour!!!!!!!!!!
never did he once complain that he was tired or hungry and that he was old..
thinking about him brings so much of energy and inspiration and i think it s a great previlage of being his student!

artificially intelligent

Computers are relatively new inventions; it’s been only two decades since we have been introduced to them. But now it is a requisite to most of us! Imagine carrying pages and pages of sheet wherever we went rather than carrying a 4-inch floppy. The amount of sophistication and simplicity machines have brought into our lives is simply astounding. Imagine going through so many soporific books to write an assignment, rather than simply search through the web and know the recent advancements. Even though computers and machines have brought about significant improvement in our lives, they lack something that we the Homo sapiens proudly possess,” intelligence”.

The intelligent species did not leave it at that, they have and still are trying to develop machines that equal the intelligence human beings are blessed with. To put it in technical language, artificial intelligence is “the scientific understanding of the mechanisms underlying thought and intelligent behavior and their embodiment in machines.”

computers can be easily trained to perform monotonous and repetitive jobs with algorithms. But how to train a machine to act based on logic and reasoning? If a machine could do that, then they could be even called autonomous, where in they can learn, communicate and teach each other. They can navigate their way around our world and be linked to extremely powerful computers that will give them a processing capacity well beyond that of humans.

scientists primarily believed that studying the structure of the human brain would give them an idea to develop such a machine. But alas!, the human brain is not such a simple creation to duplicate, with its numerous neurons and sensors. Artificial intelligence research makes the assumption that human intelligence can be reduced to the (complex) manipulation of symbols, and that it does not matter what medium is used to manipulate these symbols - it does not have to be a biological brain.

Now intelligence means the computer must even possess emotional intelligence, the computer must be able to give its views on a particular article or poem .The computer in this case will just simulate intelligent behavior or rather say just emulate the habits and practices of its master. Could a computer be called intelligent in that case? It will just follow guidelines as in an instruction manual, rather than have its own thoughts and ideas. Imagine you don’t know a language and u look into a handbook to find out what word to use in that context, the robot would merely be doing the same.

There are many tasks, which we might reasonably think require intelligence - such as complex arithmetic - which computers can do very easily. Conversely, there are many tasks that people do without even thinking - such as recognizing a face - which are extremely complex to automate.

But ai isn’t an easy task either. Making a robot do a task involves a thorough understanding of the task and the various techniques of doing it.

Any innovation has to be the result of some basic necessity. , "Friendly AI" is the theoretical knowledge needed to understand goals and choices in artificial minds, and the engineering knowledge needed to create cognitive content, design features, and cognitive architectures that result in benevolence.

But do we need machines with spirituality and creativity? Though most of us have an extremely strong bond with machines and spend majority of our lives with them, would we ever like machines competing with us?

If this intelligence or abstract attribute could be taught to machines, it would re-conceptualize the perception of machines. It will fundamentally change the way we will live in the third millennium. Who knows, my best friend could be Ms. Amy Robot …We have to still live to see it…

final year life

there is a kind of settled feeling now! even though i have such wavering thoughts!!!!! my desire to go 2 US has never been tis much! i mean i feel so strongly tat i shd go 2 us.. but wats da hindrance... i cant study anymore esp tis technical stuff!!my desire to join siemens is also great! wow , the amazing office, the people there.. wat ambience, i jus fell in love with da company!!da interview experience was amazing!
not jus da idea of studying is a hindrance to go 2 US, but i have no clue wat i shd specialise on, wat kind of job opportunities ill have if i choose a particular university, its like i have abs no clue....
n the latest development is i wanna do ma MBA, da idea of marketing, HR and finance appeal so much to me... i feel so attracted to all da three.. how amazing it would be to manage people , have ma own company.. simply superb...

exams over!!

i have successfully completed three years of engineering.... i am so happy about that... atlas the most of the crap is over, n i am sitting her listening to soothing music and blogging(i seriously missed it)..it s not jus because of exams tat i din blog, there were some problems with my comp as well...
after this one year, I am sure not going to miss my college mates( except for a few people who have been sweet to me, ill maintain contacts with them, so will not miss them), but i think ill miss my lecturers.. Each of them have been one kind and they have inspired me so much in many different ways...

to top the list is my class advisor, it would be most appropriate to start with him, since I have known him since my second sem…. Any person seeing him for the first time and talking to him for a very few times would have a misconception that he is a flirt, puts too much of scene, etc.. but actually he is the most compassionate human being I have ever met. He is very caring to everybody, he is the only person I think who knows how to talk soothingly he is damn encouraging, tats the best part of him actually. If u r confidence level is at –100 levels, he can boost it up to around 200%…

. He does his best to help people.. He cant watch anybody suffering..

he inspired me to be a great human being, which is very difficult for me than anything else. Sara is the most selfish creature on earth… so, I ve admired him so much and undoubtedly he tops my admiration list of lecturers

Number 2 on my list is mr.kaddy, who handles communication systems for us…

I knew him only for one sem (5^th sem). The kind of impact he made on me. My god….

He made me change my idea. I had believed for years that “ perfection is a hindrance to imagination”, I have always felt that perfection is following somebody s footsteps is perfection, perfection is doing it someone else’s way. I had never wanted to be perfect in my life, since I thought being perfect would make me miss so many things in life, n I would end up being a mere follower of some one else s footsteps…

But Kaddy had an altogether different view of perfection.. Till then I had never imagined a person can think in da ways he analyzed situations.. He made us find our own ways of perfection.. any lecturer who considers himself or herself perfect would give notes that would cover the entire syll, make everything upto the point. N will never let us analyse our potential or our style of looking at things.. in short v all never used to have anything else to do other than copy the lecturers style.

But kaddy just used to just motivate us to study, to dig out our potentials.. I used to sit in his classes awe struck., admiring him.. his look keeps u captivated n u jus have no other go than to listen to what he says.. I have to def say he has been one of the amazinf\g lecturers I have come across in this college, a lecturer who has motivated me towards communication.. I would say the one n only lecturer…

beauty of life

getting twenty year old makes me feel i am big... but still people around me , say i am very kiddish.. there r a bunch of them saying i am very mature... but i think i am both.. kiddish when it comes to getting amazed by life, new things, ... curious n enjoying small stuffs.. mature while takin decisions, n where maturity is required..
i feel at most times that i am an odd creature being created on this earth.. i don behave the way the entire world is behaving,,, i think the mind which god has given me , doesnt stop thinkin(both good n bad), doesnt stop predicting future(by correlating past), it goes on n on n on..
but most people, i think almost 99.9% of people dont think tis far.. i feel there is no neccisity to think tat far..
when somebody tell me somethin, i always seem to find hidden meanin n unambigous things in it....
but how do i stop it? there is no control.. it wants to experiment new things without thikin of its consequences,,,,
and 1 more thing i wanna do in my life,,,, stop analyzing my character..
one more thin i wrote thinkin of this...
An uncontrallable desire
An ever feverish pain
An ever desiring wantedness
A never ending love…………………………………………………..
towards people around..
but sara is pretty bad at that, hey na?

cant think of anything...

two days we had soft skills development program in college and it was great fun... it was a great change from the usual routine stuffs and we all had a great time...
but cant really correlate everything to write it down....
but one amazing part of it was i got my hand read by the person who conducted da program,, one , mr. shiv.. he said i would indeed be an astrologer.. tis left me sleepless for a while,, even though its my passion, i still don understand wat it meant...he said i would run a business n would settle abroad n would be extremely successful in my profession.. he said my hand was phenomenal and a rare hand.. i knew tat already, cos a very unique person i am.....

life moves on...

long time since i wrote anything.. i never wrote anything, since , since the time i came back from goa.... due to vicissitude of fortune or fate, no good thing has been happenin to me professionally nor personally.... i have been going through real tough times.. but my blog is a happy part of me,,, and i would not burden it with my lamentations.. rather its a huge galaxy , no limitations of wat i would express in my blog!
i would do wat i want to do in my blog, nobody to direct me, nobody to tell me any deadlines... it me ,my own self in my own world... i want to have a record of happy times whereas all these temporary bad happenings would vanish with the sands of time...
the wheel of fortune would take a turn, i hope,,, i jus not hope, but truly firlmly n from the bottom of my heart belive...
all these remind me of a hindi poem, i guess i read in my seventh or sixth... a life full of happiness or a life full of sorrow, will have no excitement... rather joy and sorrow mixed is the essence of life,,,, i , leaving aside my cynism,,, with excuberating belief , feel, rather i would say, i have an intuittion that great times are ahead...
in jus one and a half year, i would enter a new phase of my life, i guess which would be totally exciting,, watever i would be doing i think i will be on my own.. and my own independant self, i will do watever i feel like... it will be my own life ....
i think since i have turned twenty i feel this desire to be independant, or rather i always crave for freedom these days..
anyways leaving all tis aside, in about exactly four months from now, i think i will be blogging on my gre experience,, i have booked my date on june 27th... so i have loads of work to do...
so.....................

dreams

oh my god!!!!
i enter my land of dreams!!!
did i think it was this lovely?
with laughter all around me,,,
mischievous air surrounding me....'
the gay saun shining bright...
the lovely waves of sea hitting me slight...
with ecstatic music of love and
solitary madness....
no lethargy..
only energy..
no hatred..
only beautitude...
as i run fighting playingly with the wind..
my hair befriends the wind and enjoys the bliss of freedom...
no end to my imagination...
unless they are restricted my the filthy rules...
of everyday boring reality...

ambitions flying high..
lofty ideals left behind...
i walk beneath the sea..
with no worry in my mind...

life

a wish beyond control..
a dream beyond vision..
a laughter beyond happiness...
a faith beyond reality..
is the beauty in the heaven.
which is the enigmatic life

me

As wind blows accross my face...
a chill runs through my spine...
coldness sets into my palms...and then...
bright rays enter
through the dark room i sleep in...
the heat of the sun piercing on my eyes..
trying to awake me,,,
why not u come a little late...
i feel...
so that..
i can live in my dream world , a little while more...
why not i sleep a little longer in my cozy bed..
the morning sun waits for none..
and brings us back to the dreary mundane practicality.......

goa, part 2

v went to a park called "dona paula", dona means " miss" in portugal, paula is the name of the portugal viceroys daughter.. it was interesting to know that based on the story of paula , " ek duje ke liye", the famous movie was made.. the park was very beautiful.. it seems paula used to come to the park to see the sunrise everyday n she fell in love with a fisherman.. but due to opposition from her father, they decided to elope n get married...but suddenly the nature bought a turn in paulas life, there comes a storm n most of the fishermen die.. paula thinks tat even esperado, her lover is dead.. n she commits suicide,, but esperado is alive.. he comes to know tat paula is dead n he dies as well.. there is a statue for them as well...i would say it is a saga that any couple who go swimming there never return alive... but who knows, nobody is ready to take risks...... this was one of the interesting places we visited....
there was a church in goa. where the body of "st .Xavier " was preserved.. he was a saint who had come to india to spread christianity.. when it was time to get back to portugal, his ship met with an accident.. he was buried, his body was found fresh after many years,.. then they buried his body with decomposers like lime,,, but now even after 450 years , his body is fresh.. the church had many interestin paintings as well...
We visited two temples in goa.. the temples of goa have muslim influence on indian architecture , n have mosque like structure in the top.. they r so different from the other temples...there is a tower in the entrance,,,
Sri Mangesh temple is a shiva temple.. shiva is generally a very angry god n hence the idol is kept inside two prahahras n immidiately closed after pooja.. v had a chance 2 c a very old chariot as well.. it was a very interesting chariot with the stories of gods inscribed on them......
Shantha durga temple is considered to be the richest temple in goa, the face of goddess lakshmi is made of gold in the temple...
still i have a few more places left, which i will post in part 3

goa -

lemme start with the no 1 topic, places i enjoyed visiting in goa... i would not say goa is extremely beautiful , i have seen more beautiful places... but the atmosphere there is superb, which makes u enjoy so much.. the air in goa is filled with " masthi", as i would rightl call it... the places i went in the order i liked....
first n foremost "the calangute beach", it is such a beautiful beach n one of the very important beaches in goa.. it is the place where i enjoyed the maximum,,,, i visited the same beach some 5 times, i would call it " the heaven of fun"... first time v had normal fun, jus gettin drenched n stuff, second time i enjoyed the scenary of the beautiful moon lit sea( this is a rare sight as chennai beaches r in the west , n they dnt generally shine in the moonlight), third time i enjoyed the wonderful water scooter ride, it was fabulous.. first i thought it would be a bit risky when they made us wear all the life jacket n stuff.. but it was such a thrilling ride, n fortunately when v went there were such high tides, v enjoyed our ride thoroughly......fourth time v went running by the sea. it was also wonderful again....the last day of the trip was " d day", v went to the beach( around 20 of us), went until the middle of the sea( where the height of the waves were nearly mine), got drenced completely... n then v were on the sea shore lying... it was such a wonderful experience lying down in water near the shores, u can actually float on the water... the waves gently touch yr body n go back.. v enjoyed like tis in the beach for about two and half hours.. wrnt back to our resort, got into the swimming pool again for an hour, and again took a nice hot bath in the bathroom... v were in water for about 5 hours... after tat v were feeling damn hungry n stuffed ourselves really well... thank god the best beach of goa was near our resort...
the next beach i liked most was the " miramar beach"... this beach is known for its beautiful sunset... unfortunately v could spend only half an hour in the beach... but it was a lovely beach, n i would call it my personal favourite...
vagator beach is the next best beach, it is a rocky beach n it is a pleasure to get urself drenched standing on the rocks... i loved that beach.. actually tis beach is a combination of sand n rocks,,, its not a completely rocky one...
anjum beach is totall rocky.. to get into the beach is damn adventorous.. it has an exciting pathway, not many of them had the guts to try the path...it is totally rocky n the rocks were made of coral...
colva beach is the third largest beach in the world... n guess what the first two r , first one is a brazil beach n the second "our marina", i never found it extraordinary , but it was fine...
thats all about the important beaches
then there was a lake called" mayem lake", nothing very special about it...
then there was boating on the "river cruise" for about two hours on a large ship...there were some cultural goan program on the ship.. but it never fascinated me that much... wat fascinated me more was the vastness of the arabian sea... n the sites i saw from the ship... it was amazing... i was amazed by the vastness of the sea n the extent to which i could see it....
okay people one more part is remainin... lots of stories left , i will post it in the second part....

back from goa!!!

hey people ! i am back from goa.... n guess wat? had a blast there... never thought i would have so much fun there...
now back from goa i have threee topics to blog about one-> place goa as such , its beauty ,,,, two-> the interesting people i met( i would call them lovely too, they were fabulous again).... n three-> the book i read in my journey, the latest sidney shldon" are you afraid of the dark?"