When I was in my early teens, I would read Linda Goodman and the various sun signs. The Gemini woman was described as someone who had a different personality around different people. I took that to heart to understand why I was so different to different people.
As I grew older I did have more courage to reveal my true self to everybody else. The joy of being your own authentic self no matter you are accepted or rejected is something else altogether. As part of revealing who I truly am I started my YouTube channel. For a long time I was embarrassed to admit the movie buff I was. But then , I thought why shouldn't I embrace this part of me? Then I started writing my thoughts as poems. These efforts gave me a sense of joy .
There is still a lot of hurdle to reveal my truth, my true self. The fear that I may hurt some loved ones since it might impact them in some way. But I am sick and tired of putting up a mask. People who will reject me once they know the real me should reject me. Because I dont think I have any energy left in me to do the pretending game. To pretend that I like someone when they pretend they like me.
Sometimes I feel that my intellectual age is 5 years since I can very deeply connect to my son. And it truly baffles me how most people on this earth parent their kids. It is almost as if trying to erase every bit of genius that they are born with to make them into something as part of herd. The whole effort seems to be around getting them accepted by everybody else. Or to make them as messed up as the society has managed to make us.
I differ in my parenting philosophies even with my son's dad. At one point he even joked that I was considering the feelings of a five year old in my decision making. But why cant we consider his feelings? Are our children merely puppets in our hands to act and do in the way we see fit? Aren't they life just as we are. Maybe the only difference between us and them is the fact that we have lived in this earth longer enough. But that doesn't make them any lesser than us.
Babies never eat more than required, never sleep more than required and are absolutely tuned into their environment, their bodies and the life energy. The overall societal brainwashing somehow eradicates all these god given gifts to make them like us. What a great achievement that is!
