Our passion finally finds us.

I fly back to USA in a day. I feel more nervous than ever since I am flying back with Sid alone. It is exciting yet unnerving. I look out of the window and see cars, bikes and every automobile on the road. It gives me a sense of stability and peace. Yesterday I was driving by the O2 gym and I experienced a twinge in my heart.  I think what I will miss most are the dance classes. Maybe I am making too much of it, but they were the most enjoyable times of my life.

I had two conversations here with two people along the same lines. It led me wonder about myself. I thought business was my passion. But my desire for business came along only when I started having desire for money. Then is that a real passion. I would write for hours even when I knew I would get no reward for it. I can dance for hours by paying someone else. I can drink chai like there is no end to the world. Then these are my real passions. Is it?

It is interesting that I have worked on these passions without my knowledge. Every song I watch, I subconsciously pick up steps to dance on. Add to this all my zumba and various dance classes (bollywood dance) All the movies and books I read, i keep picking up ways to write better. Not to mention all the writing workshops I go to. And chai, my hunt for chai never stops.

So my entrepreneur friend was telling stories of how he started doing business while he was way younger.  How he had stickers that he sold to other kids by hiding in his socks and he was compared to a smuggler in those times. My dad's friend who is a writer now narrated a story about he wrote stories in papers and binded it together using a safety pin and how friend drew pictures in that book. We all have stories about this. Our passion always stays with us. We are just not aware of it. 

Life that I love

At times it might feel a lot of things need to fall in place to create a life that we love.  We need enough money, loving family and friends around and the freedom to do whatever we want. Yet, recently I discovered that creating a life that I love is simple. I need to figure out what are the things that I really love and keep doing it.

What do I love? It all started with Zumba. I love dancing. My mom sensed my interest in dancing and put me in a dance school when I was five years old. However as things got tough with dancing, I didn't pursue it with the same vigor. Add to this my dad's transfers, my dancing chapter ended very early.

Once I was investigating the topic of passion, I read Elizabeth Gilbert's quote that whatever gives you joy is a clue to your happiness. At that time I thought one of the most beautiful periods of my life was when I was in college. At that time I spent a lot of time writing poetry and fiction. Definitely writing is another of my passion. Something that I really really love. To this I love watching interesting stories and reading books.

I love deep connections and intense conversations ( it is quite rare though these days). When I was younger (in college or so) I was surrounded by these kinds of people. I thought these kinds of people will increase as I grow older.  Maybe it was me who stopped looking for these people. I am on the lookout again.

It is interesting that you don't even realize you like something so much. I am obsessed about it. One such thing like that is chai. I love it so much and so particular about the way I want to drink my chai. This Chennai trip, I got to taste some of the most amazing chai in chai kings and Coffee Shastra.  This has led me to look out for various ways to create better chai.

Overall this Chennai trip has been a blast helping me realize what my different interests are. If my life is filled with these things, indeed it will be a dream life!