Givers Vs Takers

Throughout our life we have been taught that we have to take, get a good deal, make sure we are not overpaying, or overworking etc. Of course these are thoughts of the masses.
I have spent most of my life in the taking mode only realizing and enjoying the benefits of giving recently.
The way to prosperity, happiness and contentment is of course- giving. When you give you make your life more interesting and worth living.
When you are in the taking mode, whatever you get never seems enough. You just want more, more and more leading to greed. However when you are in the giving mode, the more you give the more you get paradoxically.
Making the shift from takers to givers can be simple and it can be done by following the steps below.

• See how you can help the people in your life by doing something simple. 
• Stop thinking "what is in it for me, " when someone asks you for a favor. 
• Find opportunities to make other people's lives better. 
• Always find a way to outdo what someone does for you.

I am still making the transition from takers to giver and in moments of worry, agitation and anxiety, I do see myself shifting to the taker mode.  I do hope to do the steps as above to keep getting into the giving mode. 

Zumba

Dance is like meditation to me ever since I was a little girl. I love it and like a lover who can't get over her ex, I kept returning to dance whenever I had a chance.
In my Chennai visit I decided to take up zumba. Why not dance and get a workout at the same time?
I didn't have high hopes. I have taken classes at the best of the best in nyc. How could this one be any better?
I signed up for a trial class. I was led inside through the front door of a beautifully designed gym. Two men were dancing in the front row. Which one is the teacher? I wondered. In some time it becomes clear.
This guy is charming. He makes eye contact and acknowledges the fact that first class will be hard. He tries to show me steps in advance but for some reason I am locked up by his energy and dance. Class progresses and I realize I am more focussed on the dancer than the dance. Slowly my dream unravels as he dances to the tunes of local Indian film songs.  It just takes time for any of our dreams to manifest. I can't remember how long I have dreamed about dancing to local Indian music.
I go home in a high having experienced deep soul connection without uttering a word. Some folks exist as pure love in the moment and this dance teacher was no exception.
Couple of classes later my expectations are high. Another instructor comes to the class. I am disappointed. But this one is a different dancer. Soon he is dancing to some of my favorite songs and I realize I am dancing effortlessly and enjoying it. I am dancing so well. This guy is a great dancer too! I leave the class happy at having rediscovered the dancer in me.
Next class the instructor messages us in advance to let us know he won't make it and someone else will fill in.  Another instructor shows up. I am clearly annoyed as this one asks me to smile as I dance.  He doesn't radiate love and his energy doesn't seem to match mine. But he is totally uninhibited. He dances with abandon and sings along on the top of his voice.  His energy level is mind blowing.  I see myself relaxing and dancing even better.

At the end of the class I wonder if there are several approaches to serving people.  You can love them and be focussed on them, you can improve your craft and become very good at it or you can be yourself totally uninhibited. Each flavor gives you contentment while improving the lives of the people around you.

I wonder what's in store at my next zumba class. I secretly hope for the love and energy match.

Meeting a Friend - Part 2

He asks me why I thought about him today. Tears are rolling down my eyes uncontrollably, involuntarily.  I feel embarrassed, but almost safe to cry in his presence. As if he knows what I am going through.

I tell him I have no friends.  People I talk to, yes! People I hang out with, yes! But not anyone who truly understands my dreams and what I want to do.  And that he was the only person who could understand me right now.

He says he feels happy that I thought of him when I was in trouble. But keeps asking me why I didn't think of him the moment I landed in India. I don't have an answer for him, but my fears.

As if sensing what I want to hear, he starts narrating a story from his business. The office room in which we were talking belonged to a building where he has his own Chinese restaurant and an ice-cream shop.  He had his first business in the same building ( It belonged to his family and he has put it to good use).

His first business had something to do with backup systems.  Six months into starting it, he was into debt. He had to sell his car to make his payroll. Prior to that he was the highest performing sales guy in Microsoft. He knew he would make it. He and his partner got drunk in the same office at the end of six months almost on the verge of closing the business.

As divine guidance would have it, he had an idea the next day. He had been focussing on IT companies so far. Maybe he should look at a different segment. He looked at pharmaceutical, manufacturing, financial , agri and everything he could think of. In three months he had repaid all his debts and his business took off.

Exactly this is what I wanted to hear.

In between my conversations I still cry.  I wonder how my life would have been if I never met him.

I remember my conversations with him when I was hardly sixteen. How he passionately narrated stories about his grandfather who started his own business by bicycling and delivering everyday. He saw how his grandfather had a lot of money all the time and how it was his dream to start his business. Today it has all come true.

I wonder what was my mindset at that time. Was I influenced by all his talk that I also wanted my own business. When did my desire to have my own business originate? I don't have an answer.

The universe does a great job matching similar people.

We decide to meet again soon. I have to go back to put my son to sleep and get ready for a call in US time. He needs to get back home. But our conversations will continue.

Meeting a Friend - part 1

I meet a friend of mine who I have known for over 17 years. We have been on and off friends. We would be friends, then have a fight and not talk for years. Then meet again and do the same thing all over again.

He and I have the same core. At times it feels like he is the only person who will understand me. He is an entrepreneur. I am one too!!!

When you are a mom and an entrepreneur and make your own schedule, there is a common misconception that you are a stay at home mom. People dismiss me off as a stay at home mom among people who go to work for someone else. It is painful to write that. But it is true.

99% of my acquaintances work for someone else and seem happy. I don't know if they think that it is their calling or they think there is no other way to succeed. I don't want to judge, but understand.

I understand this friend. He only does what he likes. He hardly works one hour a day. He comes up with ideas and executes them. He is not sitting at an office and wondering if his idea will work. He executes it to find out if the idea will succeed. Money comes to him in exceeding quantities. He is not worried if he can enter the job market. He knows exactly what he wants and fills his life with things he loves.

I want his life. Maybe not working an hour a day, working 4 hours everyday. Honestly I am at a point in my life where I don't mind working. Being a mom has taught me to work, to give myself whole-heartedly to a cause.

'If you are spending your life doing things you don't like, it is like getting raped." He says. 

'What about survival?" I ask him. He gets distracted by a phone call. 

He then talks about his recent project. He buys apartments and rents them out on Airbnb. He shows me pictures, they are beautifully decorated. Interiors are beautifully decorated and I can see his love on every corner of the room.

'I hate routine' he says. 

'Me too!' I blurt out. 

'Some days I don't even like to brush because it is a routine.' He says. 

'Maybe I am not that bad' I say to myself

' Some days I like to drown myself in work when a project is starting and then I don't work for several weeks.' He says

That is how I want my life to be. I think!

In an earlier conversation, he had mentioned that he likes starting things. I think all entrepreneurs like starting and I am no exception to that!

Is it easier because he is a man? I wonder. 

He disagrees, he thinks its the same for a man and woman. I don't agree. He doesn't know all the things I have to go through everyday. Some people look at woman as an object and never really take her seriously. 

He narrates his struggles. Not having enough money, taking humiliating remarks from his dad, crying to sleep every  night.

I hadn't spoken to him for 5 years. And then, I thought meeting him was my only option. I was in that state where I was crying, where I felt I was failing in my business and meeting him was going to give me some hope that I was going to succeed and be like him some day.